me? High on Fantasy

FOREVER

2012-01-25T21:38:00.003+08:00

I will be gone from stupid blogspot.com forever. I have had so many mishaps with this stupid blog and wasted so much time fixing the problems. I think it's mighty annoying and stupid that you cannot choose whether or not to sync blogger, Google+, Picasa etc. Yesterday, I deleted photos from my Google+ account because it flooded my handphone with the hundreds of photos I've put on blogger over the years. I had to delete it through Google+ because I couldn't do it directly from my handphone which is another giant flaw that SOMEONE has to fix. As you can see, anything synced with my google account has been affected by the massive photo deletes I've been doing so I'm done. Done done done FOREVERRRrrrrrrrrr. See you guys on tumblr. (Imagine an evil laugh now)

Hoffelglobble

2012-01-22T03:14:00.000+08:00

My mouth has eaten my tongue. So today, I write.

Have you ever recognised a foreign place? If not from memory or pictures.

Take away some sense and a sensor, you'll find something you missed.

Take away your teeth, you'll find you're no longer a thief.

Here looks familiar because I recognise foreign.

Speaking hoffelglobble is speaking without a tongue.

So today, I write.

KL City Lights

2011-10-29T21:42:00.000+08:00

Tadah!
This album is by a friend, Psytrus and illustrations for the cover and lyric book are by ELLEphant. You can listen to one of the songs, (and view the cover, thank you very much) here.

Tatou

2011-10-15T03:19:00.003+08:00

It's simple, really. Be playful but hold on tight.

Ah, romance.

2011-10-03T02:12:00.003+08:00

You’ll never understand it because it was taught to you.

No! No! No!

2011-10-03T02:10:00.001+08:00

I’m still a teenager despite the age I recently turned.

I had a wonderful birthday that seemed to last forever! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Yes! Yes! Yes!

2011-09-10T03:46:00.004+08:00

I like this photo of myself. I think it's because it's Like I'm on a G6.

I've done it again. I coloured my hair red but after 2 weeks it now looks like your mum's broom. Friends have suggested that I give my hair a rest. BUT I HAVEN'T SEEN MY REAL HAIR SINCE I WAS SIXTEEN so giving it a break makes me nervous. Anyway, I plan to get a haircut before my birthday so I hope that the severity of the hairstyle I have in mind will distract people from my

Freedumb.

2011-09-10T03:29:00.005+08:00

I want to do the things that I want to do and when I want to do them but I'm trampled on by responsibilities to my future self whom I hope is worth it.

I want to be free I want to be free I want to be freeee. And I want to feel loved.

I think I pretty much live as though the world owes me favours and that helps until I remember that life is a paradox.

Sometimes I think being crazy is being lucky.

Hilp.

2011-09-10T03:11:00.005+08:00

What does it mean when I had a dream that I went back to the perfect music store (selling old school rock and alternative rock albums, vinyl records, notebooks, music sheets, figurines) that I had dreamt about before but this time it was rather empty. I asked the owner what happened to all the posters and cool messiness of legends' faces everywhere. He replied that he wasn't getting money from running a shop like that anymore so he was clearing his stock for new shit. And when he said "shit" he didn't mean it like "stuff" he meant it like "crap". Disappointed, I suddenly ended up at a spiral staircase (I'm terrified of spiral staircases) and had to descend because I suddenly had to follow my friends somewhere. They talked and walked fast but wouldn't slow down for me. I got frustrated at their lack of consideration for me and my lack of speed, but still kept a slow pace so as to not fall like sky diving like I normally do at staircases in my dreams. Towards the end of the flight of stairs, the ceiling became so low I had to crouch. When I finally reached the green wooden door with a glass centre, I saw and heard a Caucasian 40-year old woman say to her friend that "the bus lady is here!" while pointing at me. Next thing I know, I'm wearing a blue green and white striped suit walking out the door.

Breakfast with Audrey

2011-07-12T21:01:00.004+08:00

I remember walking in *this particular store with my mum when I noticed a painting of Audrey Hepburn I really liked. It was too expensive so my mum asked me to paint it myself. I told her that I hadn’t the skill to do something like that.

I can’t remember what made me think of doing a painting of Audrey Hepburn but I did what I thought I couldn’t do a few years back and added my own touch to it (the pancakes hee.)

I auctioned this piece off and I’d like to say that I’m proud that I’ve gotten this far but what I’d like more is to say that I wish I kept the painting. It would look quite nice in my new room. Hee.

*Name undisclosed to avoid being sued.

I can't be sure that I exist, when you are not around

2011-07-12T20:03:00.009+08:00

If I spent less time thinking of and researching ways to look more attractive and spent more time thinking of and researching ways to be smarter, I would been an astronaut by now.

Lately I've been:

1. Designing MonGa 02.

2. Eating my heart out not because I can cuz I could but now I can't seeing as my metabolism has turned against me.

3. I did some rigorous exercise to win a who's got harder abs bet. I won by default seeing as my competitor fully evolved into a Chinese uncle. Since then, I haven't had the time for the gym. This is not a whiny adult excuse, it's true.

4. Not doing the artwork and home crafts I so excitedly planned out because I haven't had the time. (Following line is to be said in a Chinese hawker's accent) This brings me great sorrow.

5. Watching plenty of Modern Family and 30 Rock. They're the real chicken soup for the soul.

Lately I've been to:

1. Ipoh. Highlight of the trip was kayaking.

2. Langkawi. Highlight of the trip was getting to see all the hippies and laidback people with self-done dreadlocks and threaded accessories; those of which I bought as a necklace and got done to my hair. Life there seems so enviable.

3. Am currently in Melbourne visiting family. Highlight of the trip at this point was visiting Minotaur. Tomorrow I am to attend the Love Never Dies musical- sequel to the Phantom of the Opera.

4. I plan to go to Melaka before the end of these holidays. If I haven't the time to do art during my holidays, I'd like to at least drown myself in creative energy and lose money to travelling. After all, I was crying aloud on the inside for a vacation before my holidays came.

5. Lately I've been to these places and hardly back home that I haven't even slept in my new home for a full week yet. I love how my new home has been decorated. It's cosy and quite stylish so I am looking forward to diving back into my bed.

6. Had OS (Operation Sleepover) IV and discovered that I'm quite the si fu at Capcom vs Marvel. My skill was awakened when Z said that the game was so slow when playing with me. It was like the competitive bone in me automatically reacted with: Challenge, ACCEPTED.

This is how I transferred clothes from previous home to new home. Please ignore my stupid face.

Hiatus count 100

2011-06-16T12:34:00.004+08:00

Hello and welcome to a blog with a blogger that's going to be inactive for about a week more.

In the mean time,
I think some of you need my mum's help.
Feel free to share the poster. :)

tom waits

2011-05-15T02:42:00.003+08:00

We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness. We are monkeys with money and guns.

A repetition

2011-05-01T22:09:00.003+08:00

The Good is born in the depths of my heart, the True in the young darkness of my Understanding.

Our life is only a succession of ceremonies, and we spend our time showering each other with tribute.

The brains you had went to your head

2011-05-01T21:13:00.006+08:00

Beer was the melancholy of my childhood

Beer is the pleasure of my youth

It should scare me that everything I reject eventually turn sweet

But it doesn't quite scare me because I feel like I'm made of plastic

And that's probably because I am

made.

I love this song and video so much. I recall watching it as a kid, trying to understand its weirdness. I still don't think I've quite grasped the meaning of it all but the moaning melody and confusing video that accompany it still draws so much of emotion out of me.

My interpretation:

The machine is trying to fix robot no.1 but is unsuccessful at the head where sparks fly out. Female robot no.2 appears and water gushes up the vagine of robot no.1 (that's what it looks like to me- you can see her look up from there in that scene and also the belly button is shown where the fluid flowing upward passes) and they both then caress. The machine keeps trying to fix them.

If I were to read into the video literally, I would relate it to homosexuality. Although external forces try to fix the couple, it cannot for the love/fluid that is vital to survival is still flowing. It may tamper with the body but not the mind. Plus, even though unnatural like the robots, all is full of love.

You asked me how to kill your headache, use a gun.

2011-04-19T04:45:00.004+08:00

Here’s what's been going on.

Having long conversations with Aaron’s dad although I was there for a friend’s farewell. I am clearly the lousiest friend/house party invitee. But eager to learn and discuss politics, religion, economics, and career. So, not all is lost.

Going through responsibilities as one of the editors which may be the cause of me losing hair but the other editors are awesome and I enjoy working with them. So, not all is lost.

Hanging with friends who take certain kinds of photos of my face.

Arriving right after the big “Surprise!”

Emergency illustrations which left me rushing on the job but still getting paid very well which messes up my conscience but I’m still alive.

Slam Poetry.

Assignments.

Frustration.

Food.

Friends.

Life.

This came out most enthusiastically because although I am majoring in Writing, no, I am not a writer. I just like telling people about my life so that you may use it in accordance to your lives however you so wish to eg. feel better about your lifestyle, about your face, get ideas...of however sort you'd like.

Sweet wetness and trembling fires

2011-04-17T20:46:00.004+08:00

Last night I think I lived a thousand years.

If we go to sleep we'll be home again.

Anything that may delay you might just save you

2011-04-16T04:07:00.005+08:00

Weird, gloomy, uplifting, darkly funny, West Bentley (hehe), dreamy. It kind of changed my view of life. I don't know if I'm more realistic or just pessimistic like the other half of the world.

This movie got quite mixed reviews. I for one, thought it was brilliant! Hilarious, extremely hilarious during Mark Wahlberg's scenes, extremely quirky, philosophical, bright. I really enjoyed this.

Extremely disturbing.

But I have to say that I quite liked the movie as a whole. The scenes were shown in reverse so it really plays around with emotions seeing everything’s causal effects. I found it very clever how certain topics in the dialogue were connected to each other and that you recognise this backwards. Spoiler alert: I LOVE how at the end of the movie you understand the significance of the man’s smirk in the club and yet insignificance through the first scene of the fat man confiding in his friend. GAH!

Darren Aronofsky is turning out to be my favourite director. His movies always leave my eyes dry because I never can shut them. Aside from his short movies, the only other movie of his that I haven’t watched is the Wrestler. I would call him King of Psychological Thrillers based on Pi alone. But he has been generous enough to share more of that talent through his other movies. Pi was perfect as a full black and white movie that would keep your mind jumping from here to there yet stuck in his world of morbid visuals. Definitely one of my favourite movies.

* I've added Devotchka and Department of Eagles to Noosic. If you're a fan of Grizzly Bear, folkish, alternative music you'll probably like them as much as I do.

Dear -,

2011-04-16T04:00:00.001+08:00

If you represent my emotions, please don’t go away. I fear that I may have none left by the time I understand it.

Think harder

2011-04-02T18:57:00.003+08:00

How am I not myself

You think you're doing something special. It's been done.

2011-03-27T16:10:00.002+08:00

I've been watching your world from afar,

I've been trying to be where you are,

And I've been secretly falling apart,

I'll see.

To me, you're strange and you're beautiful.

Strange characters are my favourite. Humbert Humbert, Nina Sayers , John Nash (for as much as I know him from A Beautiful Mind), and Adam Raki.

I have a very very special spot for Austistic people. They are beyond special and complex and you can never get in. It’s just so many questions I want answered yet unanswered because looking at them looking like us but not quite is so intriguing.

I had a German Chinese mixed student in my Arts & Crafts class (when I was still teaching) that I’m pretty sure had some sort of autism. It’s hard to describe how awkward he was yet how intelligent you can tell he is. He was hard to teach because he understood things so differently that I had to explain things in various ways to make sure the message got through. He would all of a sudden lose the will to do the task or just do it without stopping though you tell him not to. Once, I even had to yank his hand away from his craft so that he’d stop overly cutting (destroying) his papier mache castle. The other kids were pretty mean, openly saying he’s weird and stuff. He either smiled creepily to himself or looked sad at me. It was a real challenge but I adored him. Too bad he stopped coming to my class a few weeks later. I know he had cried every time his mum pulled him away from her. But she was kind and sweet. Very patient I bet.

I understand that they would have a special community to have friends somewhat like them and to learn together how to fit into our NT society. But I don’t quite know why it’s considered a charity programme to visit autistic children. They’re not disabled or disadvantaged in my eyes. Perhaps others could disagree.

Here is my not-so-normal normal brother. He’s such an adorable little thing! One day he’ll have abs and facial hair and I’d practically be his aunt. I wonder if he’d still love me then. (I hope you read this when you’re older then appreciate my current fondness over you)

Sweet cakes and protein shakes

2011-03-06T17:26:00.003+08:00

Seriously. If you have chopstick legs, there's no point in you walking all stylo with your humongojumbo biceps. It makes you look like a faulty inflatable doll.

(Referring to a guy in uni I constantly bump into that constantly wears singlets whom I wouldn't dare say the above to face-to-face)

In theory, it would be possible for life and art to be reversed.

2011-03-06T17:23:00.001+08:00

My reality needs imagination like a bulb needs a socket.

My imagination needs reality like a blind man needs a cane.

-Tom Waits

We are all too good for each other

2011-03-01T01:34:00.006+08:00

This movie is one of those that you have to watch while you’re a youth who gives a shit about topics past locker room chatter. Some parts actually made me laugh aloud, alone, in my room. It’s a movie with deep, intelligent, pot smoking, funny, casual friends who live together and sure, there are some romance parts but it’s really just a fun movie for '90s kids to lie on a giant bed and watch with their friends. I miss doing that.

And I miss teen movies from the '90s so much. Like Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You, Drive Me Crazy, Cruel Intentions... I grew up with these (cuz my sister was a teenager in the 90s.) Why aren’t movies like these being made anymore? And yeah, Easy A was pretty funny but it’s not the same cuz their clothes are too clean and stylishly picked out. Think Adrian Grenier in Drive Me Crazy with the faded shirts and messy hair. Guys like these don’t often come around on TV nor in real life anymore. Now we have bloody Bieber. Thank you media conglomerates for always making decisions that will enhance viewers’ lives.

Then there’s this.It’s a movie about another world that suicides live in. It’s not much of a love story except for the beginning intention of the story and the final outcome, while the in between was mostly bleak cinematography, and darkness and sweetness that mashed so well together. Best watched alone or with someone else who can chill and watch this with you slumped on the couch.

"Once upon a time there was a crooked tree and a straight tree. And they grew next to each other. And every day the straight tree would look at the crooked tree and he would say, "You're crooked. You've always been crooked and you'll continue to be crooked. But look at me! Look at me!" said the straight tree. He said, "I'm tall and I'm straight." And then one day the lumberjacks came into the forest and looked around, and the manager in charge said, "Cut all the straight trees." And that crooked tree is still there to this day, growing strong and growing strange."

One of the many

2011-02-28T00:59:00.005+08:00

“The jamming studio has crickets in here. Can hear ‘em chirping away.

Actually, how the f does a cricket get to the top floor of a shop lot and wtf was it thinking. Where got some foxy cricket babe up here.”

Words will never fathom the depths of my feelings.

2011-02-28T00:55:00.004+08:00

Airy, roomy, echoey music about love.

Lying on the cold floor thinking about possibilities.

Seeing Parisian cafes and Venetian sidewalks take turns to circle before my eyes.

Wanting more than I only just took.

I just want to feel my youth.

Z in his room.

Musang

2011-02-23T01:54:00.005+08:00

Time comes by eventually.

Karven and I have been friends for 17 years now. Together we’re silly, shameless, nuts, and extra lazy. Well to be fair, we’re all of those quite naturally on our own but together they escalate and turn into stories of humour. She’s my falling asleep in the toilet buddy, weee that 5 minute spontaneous road trip was fun buddy, OMG I thought I knew how to fill tire pressure partner, oh yeah we’re twins from Korea twins, and most importantly, we’re brud bludders/blood brothers.

This is the four of us. Individually trademarked but a marvellous quartet; the outcome of years of fights, laughs, honesty and support. They are my biffs. (BFFs)

Then there are the boys. Guys now but I've known them since they looked wee so I'm entitled to calling them aaaanything I want. They've been the most patient, kind, funny and adorable caretakers we could ever ask for. I absolutely love sitting in the back seat with both of them yapping about silly little topics and bickering about who's right. That's live comedy for me. We're so lucky!

Oh I was pretty sad the night we sent Karven off also cuz on the way to the airport, we saw the entire scene of a musang running across the road at perfect speed and distance for death by tire. It was a long 3 seconds of held breath for us and screams as we heard the crushing sounds.

Don’t forget to cherish the friends that have been with you since your ugly days.

I've given all I can but we're still on the payroll

2011-02-23T01:23:00.001+08:00

News via Mat Metal; the Renaissance Man (-ish)

Did you know that there are bicep, tricep and pectorial (man boob) silicone implants?

So we eat pisang goreng with crispy coating made out of batter + plastic AND put plastic (well, silicone) beneath our skin? Long, live, mannequin.

Recently, an African girl was dancing naked in public in the afternoon. An x-ray was done on her. She was found to be a meth mule. One capsule punctured and that made her delirious.

At least she got cheap thrills from getting the capsules inside, and having the capsules inside.

A snatch thief died in a collision that ripped off his privates.

By the time that 3^rd text came in, my only thoughts were of karma. And now of police.

You see, she was going to supply something that could really hurt people and in the end it only hurt her.

He... He eventually got something snatched from him too.

Don’t forget to remember that “these kinds of things” don’t only happen to other people. So, do good.

Enstyle

2011-02-22T16:52:00.002+08:00

Enstyle is a social network that focuses on fashion and works only inside Facebook. It’s like a lookbook.nu for Facebook. There are already hundreds of users but there are 200 of us 'Community Founders' who were selected to be first few members.

I was found through my blog and I hope you readers and friends will show me some lovin' there as well.

Check out their promotional video. I’m at 0:59 for a split second haha in my I’m getting wise and I’m feeling so bohemian like you outfit.

Credits to Nathan (Friendly Ghost) for the soundtrack.

You can probably find me at the credits and on the Enstyle page under Elle Lee. ENJOY!

Something

2011-02-22T02:33:00.005+08:00

Hey, Brandon’s GF posted a photo of him holding an envelope saying “This” while looking away from the camera. Her caption was “I love this man. He is my heart.” Betch.

Aw, it’s okayy. You have me.

Everyone needs a supportive and optimistic partner.

Mais qui est-ce qui m'a dit que toujours tu m'aimais?

2011-02-17T18:57:00.016+08:00

I would like to describe her face, her ways-and I cannot, because my own desire for her blinds me when she is near. I am not used to being with nymphets, damn it. If I close my eyes I can see but an immobilised fraction of her, a cinematographic still, a sudden smooth nether loveliness, as with one knee up under her tartan skirt she sits tying her shoe.

- Humbert Humbert

This is why I love sunsets so much. It plays with emotions. It changes your view of the world. See how it drowns my living room.

I want a Sunday kind of love

2011-02-14T18:27:00.003+08:00

a love to last past Saturday night.

Happy Valentine’s Day, lovebirds!

I read lots of pissed off, depressed, pretending not to give a shit status updates on FB come 14^th February. As much as it is quite an insignificant occasion to me, I think sad single people should just leave lovebirds to have fun today. If you think it’s overrated, you wouldn’t celebrate it surely. But don’t be a wet blanket for people who like to think of this day as a great reason to dress up and do something different with their partners. If it makes singletons feel better, I’m sure couples that are physically apart today feel a little worse.

Last night I had a dream that I was in a neighbourhood of people who believed I was the chosen one; the one to embrace the wolf in me and protect the people. But I woke up with a rude reality smack saying that I needed to get my bald body in the shower and give my blunt teeth a brushing. After a lonely lunch at home, I was greeted with my favourite bread & butter pudding-from Alexis, roti canai with chicken liver and curry, bubur cha cha, and Macau egg tarts cuz they didn’t have Portugese. I was like a tot on sugar rush just from looking at the banquet before me. Then we ran some errands, I had lamb shank and Guinness for dinner and just some good conversation, the usual bitching about NTs (Neuro Typicals haha), had the last few bites of my lamb STOLEN, and I got a death threat. We agreed to share the mashed potatoes but I was still in the eating mindset cuz my lamb was STOLEN so I pounced to take the last bite of the mashed potatoes from his fork as a joke and he went all me-when-my-food-is-under-siege on me and said “I’ll stab my knife in your head”. I wanted to run for my life but I’m taking up the challenge of ‘commitment is hard’.

Despite the mushiness, duuude moments, pointless bickering, bitching sprees and more mushiness, we’re pretty ambitious people. We enjoy being productive and having something to DO. A few weeks ago, our assignments were these:

Coin flipping. Watching Robin from How I Met Your Mother as a currency rotation specialist is an inspiration.

Juggling. One day, Mat Metal took our mandarin oranges and started tossing two of ‘em from hand to hand calling it juggling. LOL. I shed light on the situation and we decided to properly learn juggling with 3 oranges. It was pretty hilarious and certainly was intense considering some oranges had pulp spilling out while I was sweating.

I’m such an awkward girl in romance. I’d be all “aww” at rose petals on sheets but then I’d probably stand there not knowing how else to react. I appreciate sweetness when a guy suddenly decides I need a foot massage or when he brings me food instead of flowers. Love is the strongest word I know and yet it’s so easy to use.

“Life is a maze and love is a riddle” is false. Mazes have only one right answer and one ending whereas life starts and ends wherever it does not wherever it has to be. Riddles can be solved but love cannot. Love makes no sense cuz it makes you feel on top of the world when you’re falling in it but when you’ve felt it for a long time you doubt if you’re even in love.

I guess we’re all living in belief systems and that’s OK because once you find someone who shares a belief with you, it’s a relief, it’s a delight, it’s exciting and energetic and your tummy is in knots while your heart is in your neck like the feeling you get when you’re falling but that’s just falling in love.

I've been smiling with anchors on my shoulders

2011-02-13T02:01:00.005+08:00

Karven sent me two random seasons of Skins a couple of years ago so I watched 'em mostly for the sake of it (and for Kaya Scodelario. She was hot in the show). I think I was mostly distracted and disturbed by how other teens would be negatively influenced by the show. Cuz you know...I'm so thoughtful of youth today and have excluded myself from the youth category cuz I think I'm beyond that pfft. I'm just pretty much a goody girl at heart and seeing them abuse drugs, mistreat friends, suffer depression and whatever blah blah troubles, and have casual sex that didn't even look very exciting wasn't very exciting for me. But if TV sex, drugs, and rebellion is your version of escapism then yay you've found your leprechaun! What.

Anyway I stumbled upon the Skins season 5 trailer and I love it. I think it was brilliant in showing how broken these teens are in just one minute. So there's the entire purpose of the show for you.

In the words of Warhol,

2011-02-12T02:30:00.001+08:00

people should fall in love with their eyes closed

Action is character

2011-02-06T16:22:00.004+08:00

This year for Halloween I’m putting my hair up and gonna sprinkle my entire body in glitter. I’ll be Edward Cullen. With access to faaabulous gay bars.

The Return of Dopamine

2011-02-06T15:00:00.006+08:00

I spent my Chinese New Year in Penang with a rotten tummy. I purged and I puked all only to be allowed consumption of mushed wall people call porridge and crispy wall people call toast. But the mental and physical torture ended yesterday when I sneaked in me a slice of brownies and had midnight pasta. If there is truth to 'mind over matter', then perhaps it was right that I only began to feel better when I put my mind at ease by eating the food I so loved.

Brandon Boyd’s solo album, The Wild Trapeze has been on repeat. He played all the instruments on that album aside from the keyboard and some drum bits. Whoever can buy me any of his books will be on my good list forever. Oh he just sang “we’re all in the gutter but some of us are staring at the stars.” Had I not just blogged about this a few days ago. We rode on similar waves! Tee hee.

This was like an extended music video that you’d keep humming in your head. Weird, weirdly sweet, and just very entertaining.

Who hasn’t watched this, really. It’s disturbing, crazy, poetic, unforgettable. No, language doesn’t serve me well enough to describe this justly.

I actually found this a little too long for a story I didn't find captivating enough but there is an interesting and special character in Kubrick's films that I watch for and surely it was present here. I suppose one could watch it just to be able to understand the last scene which is to me, the best part.

This was one of my favourite as a child so I could be biased hehe. Quirky, hilarious, so fun, brilliant ahh it’s great. And Tricky was in it!

HANDSOME. Sexy. Very sexy.

Kirsten Dunst was so damn good here.

VERY SEXY. Dark. Cult-ish. The actors weren’t that great but I’d watch it again just for Aaliyah and Scott Townsend. They were so sexy. I know, I’m as disgustingly easy for vampires in movie as some fat balding guys are for sexual Twilight cartoon ads on websites.

Josh Hartnett is lucky he’s tall and handsome or his lack of acting skill would pierce through. It’s a typical kind of romantic flick but with a layer of mystery. I enjoyed its slightly darkish theme that was carried by the soundtrack.

Romantic, poetic, quotable, perfect.

Like all other dangerous drugs films I’ve watched, it was frightening but so damn good. It was disgusting, it was engaging. All the pieces of black and yellow fit just right.

I'm now downloading 2 Warhol films and a bunch of unknown films for a change. I can't wait!

You're just like an angel, your skin makes me cry.

2011-02-01T17:50:00.008+08:00

I spent last year working my way to being alone but these holidays have dragged me out of home so frequently and to pleasantries that when I’m left, being alone is a feeling of loneliness that I’d rather noisy out. I think I’m just a very, very confused girl.

I’ve basically spent my previous few weeks hanging with the gang (especially at Meeples. The people working there call us ‘regulars’. That word leaves me in a lovehate state.)

I recently downloaded this cool photo editing software so I'll be uploading randomly edited photos forevaaa.

For forever long this excites me.

I went on another girly holiday trip with the mother and sister. We stayed at Ye Ol’ Smokehouse at Fraser’s which is beautiful but other than visual pleasure, the place is the giantest bore.

We met up with a close friend we hadn’t seen in 6 years! It was a really sweet day.

And more reunions with betrayers of Malaysia and friendship.

I’m now in Penang, celebrating the Chinese New Year week with my family at my grandma’s house. She is the feistiest grandma I know of with killer cooking skills and stamina x10 of mine. But what's to compare...my stamina is a shame to mankind, really.

I brought my art stuff this year so hopefully I’ll have enough quiet time to paint it. I’m really excited for this piece. I feared for my subconscious doing this. I hope you weep under your blankets seeing this once it’s done. If you never see this, it means I’ve disappointed myself and would be crying under my blanket.

Happy Chinese New Year week!

Check out more work by ELLEphant here.

Therapy is Speedie's brand new drug

2011-01-30T01:50:00.005+08:00

As I am a huge ass fan of Incubus and respect Brandon Boyd’s creative works, I decided to google him again to get updated. I found out that he’s now with someone so I checked out her blog. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t hate her for the first 3 seconds but she does have style I like and I enjoyed this particular half of a blog post of hers. *I corrected some of her grammar and removed unnecessary addition of full stops cuz I hate when people do that... Like this... <--

So, the cosmos itself has 9 main Rasas or emotions that came into creation. Each of us experience these emotions throughout life, and as children some of us are taught that we don’t have time for some of these emotions or feelings. Maybe we wanted a piece of candy and our parents told us NO! We got so angry and wanted to scream and cry and again our parents say, NO! STOP! Not now. So, most of us think that expression and feelings need to be controlled. The reality is that emotions exist for us to tap into so that we can feel, understand, and remember who we are. They also allow us to create boundaries for ourselves and understand our limits. When not expressed healthily, emotions can be extremely destructive. We can stuff them down into the crevices of our body and literally manifest physical pain and suffering. So, the idea is to be aware and conscious of your emotions, allow them to course through your body and be realized. When your heart, body, and mind feel and you can breathe into that feeling, you then have the opportunity to transform, and within that transformation comes healing.

In Tantra these 9 Rasas are the essence of all of our emotions. I will list them in English, give their Sanskrit translation, and briefly describe its properties.

1. Love/Sringara: It is the ultimate Rasa-the king or queen emotion that heals anything. It frees the ego and connects us to devotion. When you appreciate beauty it connects you to the source of love. It is the creative play between Shiva and Shakti, sun and moon, yin and yang. The purpose of the universe is to experience this divine love. This love exists in everything. It is within each one of us and radiates out to the cosmos.

2. Joy/Hasya: This Rasa connects you to your humour, laughter, happiness and contentment. It is the extension of what you feel within love.

3. Wonder/Adhuta: Curiosity, Mystery, Awe- when you become fascinated with the idea of life. It is your playfulness and innocence. You enter into complete appreciation and become an explorer or adventurer. It is magic!

4. Courage/Vira: Bravery, Confidence, Pride- when you call upon your the Warrior that lives inside you. It is strong and vibrant.

5. Peace/Shanta: Deep calmness and relaxation- when you become still and quiet. In peace you become so full that you are empty. You will not find peace anywhere but within.

6. Sadness/Karuna: When you can experience sadness and connect it back to the cosmos, you then experience compassion. Compassion is what connects us all. Through compassion we can relate deeply to each other. When ones sadness is truly experienced around a situation it can give a sense of completion. Grieving is a key aspect in healing.

7. Anger/Raudra: In anger we go into the fire. One moment of anger can destroy lifetimes of good merit. Respect anger. When anger isn’t honored it can bring up irritation, violence, hatred. Feel the anger. Let it move through you. Breathe into the fire.

8. Fear/Bhayanaka: Doubt, Worry, Insecurity- when we live our lives in fear, we shut down completely.

9. Disgust/Vibhasta: Self pity, Loathing, self hatred. Only through a loving emotion can you heal and appease disgust.

Although I’m not a Hindu, I do believe that it is important to address the things that tantra teaches cuz it is true and useful. It’s pretty logical stuff but serves as a good reminder that sadness and anger are as equally important as joy and peace; regarded we approach them the right way.

Happy self-reflecting!

I'm just sitting on the shelf

2011-01-30T01:34:00.002+08:00

I love everything about this, them, summer, raybans, men doing jump splits, breaking into a dance number, smiles, falling in love.

Update: There's a part of me that believes my soul will soar above the trees.

2011-01-27T02:12:00.000+08:00

By the time we arrived at Genting Highlands, the mist had become so thick that the outdoor theme park closed. Fail to the maximum extreme.

So we decided to make most out of the situation by walking around in the freezing cold outside with limited outterwear while eating ice cream.

We're all in the gutter, but some of us choose to enjoy the suffering- with the ice cream and the cold and sudden wind blows of rain.

There's a part of me that believes my soul will soar above the trees

2011-01-24T00:00:00.000+08:00

Mysteries of life:

I braved myself all week for tomorrow’s (Monday) trip to Genting Highlands to go on all the rides for the first time including the pant pant pant Solero Shot. Then last night while happily imitating Josh Groban with a Pineapple backside girl, it happened. I could’ve sprained the muscle going down my neck, shoulder and back but during the time it was stinging, I was pretty sure I suffered a stroke. Although I did manage to scream out I’M GETTING A STROOOKE. So maybe it wasn’t a stroke. Maybe it was. Mysteries of life. Hopefully it's better by tomorrow morning.

Well...We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. –Oscar Wilde.

Please do persist, it's time we met and made a mess.

2011-01-23T17:34:00.004+08:00

It started with WW and I headbanging and singing to Incubus on the way to The Curve. Then dinner at Sakae Sushi and our tradition to dessert at Chocolate which was where something didn’t happen but if we follow the phrase “pics or it didn’t happen” then we can deduce that something happened cuz there are pictures right?

As you can see...

WW: Look at me, look at me I can sing song. Luhluh luhluhluhhhlaaa.WW: What? What! Do you know who my father is?!

Then to Z’s place for more battles.

And a battle with myself to not fall asleep cuz we made a deal to graffiti the face of whoever sleeps before 4am. A deal we made only because WW used to fall asleep and awake then asleep over and over again leaving Z and I alone to watch the Powerpuff Girls. This time, we did that all together. :)

Train of Truth slumber party talks at a mamak.

Laughing about how some people have become so pathetic.

Back to Z’s at 8am.

What I would call a nap.

‘Early morning’ chats with Milo.

Goodbyes.

Milder headbanging and singing to Incubus.

I need you now, put me back together make me right.

2011-01-23T02:55:00.008+08:00

When my brain was rambling during a sleepless night.

Love really isn’t physical, it isn’t practical, it makes no sense and when ‘imperfect’ can it only be perfect.

I think the only way you know that you truly love that person is if he or she is not the perfect person for you. The perfect person for you talks, dresses, makes you happy the way you imagine and want a partner of yours to be. That’s the person you’d enjoy introducing to anyone. But it’s also just comfort and contentment, company and assurance- the contributing factors to your decision to be with this person. But the one you really love is when the relationship can be the shittiest outward combination of a couple but made rightfully perfect cuz like Mat Metal pointed out, it’s the spiritual connection that binds the two. It’s the bare self that can be so adored it’s called, love.

Love is crazy; so you really need to be crazy in love or you’re not in love at all.

Play dumb, play straight, try to manipulate.

2011-01-18T02:10:00.004+08:00

I’ve exhausted my patience for certain people on Facebook. I have my ELLEphant page as a sort of online portfolio and business site which I take very seriously. I put a lot of effort into ensuring that the page is a good representation of the part of me that does art. I do believe people should view everything of their making to be a reflection of their pride in themselves. And yes, pride is a good thing just as confidence is. But like everything else, in excess it’s quite terrible. I was very insulted by how a friend of mine spammed the ELLEphant page with advertisements of his business website-which has nothing to do with art mind you so it was blatant abuse of my friendship. Of course I removed all the adverts and told him straight that he shouldn’t do that anymore however I got no apology, no shy words of defense, not even a reply!

Another abuse of the friend card was when I was asked to do album art for free. Hours worth of work for free. I sent a 3 page text reply saying that if he really respected my work as a friend, he wouldn't cheekily ask for a FOC work of mine. Be sophisticated enough to be thankful if your friend offers a sweet discount but don't be such a shameless free loaderrr.

Although it quite goes against my behaviour to ‘like’ pages on FB that I don’t actually like just cuz my friend requested that I do so, I do so. I’d think that standing up for my preferences isn’t quite worth the bitching I may get from ignoring their request so I do it. And I hope you’re not thinking that I shouldn’t bother so much about what an online networking site says about me. I do because if you can afford to give an impression of yourself that you and others can accept cuz it is decent and in accordance to you as an individual, then why risk looking like someone you’re not on any medium of self introduction?

~~~

Anyway, I am in quite the ranting mood as you can tell but will stop now to avoid losing my entire readership! Instead, I give you colour. :D

The three of us tried macarons for the first time that day. We got those from Boudoir at Bangsar Village II. Don’t be fooled by the gaudy, vintage decor of the place that clearly states manicure and pedicure prices outside. It’s basically a luxury shop that offers hands and feet spas that come with champagne and there they sell macarons too!

We tried all the flavours but Mango- one at a time, we each took a bite of all the flavours and agreed that we enjoyed the milky before and after taste of the macaron but mixed with the flavours, it turned out way too sweet. If you should ever order some for yourself, I’d recommend the Earl Grey, Wasabi (no, it’s not at all hot) and the Peanut Butter flavours. Be warned that each small macaron is RM6 and the guy will try to entice you by saying 6 for RM36 haha. I caught him there but he’s extremely charismatic and friendly so you could probably be sucked in by his charm to get all 6 as well.

Upward

2011-01-17T00:36:00.006+08:00

Life is good. It IS. Funny that I may be the one to say it cuz I can be the most depressive person on my own but LIFE is good. I don’t like a hell load of things in the world but life makes crappy situations feel insignificant. Watch the way flowers bloom, the way animals communicate, and the way birds fly. Well don’t look at crows-chances are you’d see their poo fly. But really, the world keeps moving and very naturally even while you complain and sob about how the bitchface bitch has a face. And I like Ghandi’s quote:

Whatever you do in life will be insignificant; but it is important that you do it.

And uh excuse me but I’m in love with these images of animals. I hope they’ll serve to brighten up your day as they have for me. Oh, their careless love.

Oh whoops, this isn't an animal is it. In this case, check out the passenger then the rider's leg. I suppose there's some cheering up this photo could do for you too. Hee hee haw haw.

Then tomorrow she's gone

2011-01-16T02:20:00.003+08:00

"Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a f***ed up girl who's looking for my own peace of mind. Don't assign me yours."– Clementine; Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

Kill your middle class indecision. Now is not the time for liberal thought.

2011-01-13T18:18:00.006+08:00

I absolutely love films. Mostly the old ones cuz they had had no significance in my life whatsoever till I found them. Current movies are part of my social culture and I belong to them rather than having experienced them out of my own coincidences. I know I’ve mentioned it before on my blog how my dad got me into loving films since I was a kid. For the early exposure and great taste passed down, it makes watching good films even better now.

Last week I watched 2 films that screwed up my mind about time, and just, simply screwed up my mind. I actually really enjoy these kinds of stuff cuz the need for normalcy of a brain only shows how crazy you are. ;)

Aaahh, Memento. Watching this was such a thrill! According to psychologists, this is one of the most accurate of films to depict the mental condition, anterograde amnesia. I’ve always been fond of stories of people with mental issues haha so this was really fun for me. Plus, the main character was very disciplined and good and that’s a definite plus for me. The storyline is quite typical but was filmed in such a way that the viewer can sense an underlying purpose of the story. It was filmed so damn well-the change of colours to show different time frames, the skip of one moment of information to the next only made me feel like I was part of the confusion and investigation. Like any movie I’d recommend, it was a perfect fit of all aspects- directing, art direction, plot, characters, actors... Do watch!

Old Boy is a Korean movie based on a Japanese Manga of the same name. I don’t normally watch Korean productions cuz I have issues with their accent along with the New Zealand and Australian one. Also, Koreans I noticed are overly dramatic which annoys me to my bones but my friends whom have good taste in movies highly recommended this. I would only recommend this to film lovers who don’t mind gore, socially disturbing scenes and story, and for those who have pretty tolerant ears. I can’t say I enjoyed the watch but the cinematography was brilliant, the characters and acting of them were brilliant, plot was brilliant- it basically got the essentials of a powerful, powerful movie. It was even commended by Quentin Tarantino so that should give you enough reason to watch. Although I did begin saying that I didn’t enjoy the watch, I think that’s what makes this movie powerful. It’s that I couldn’t bear to endure it yet have to congratulate every bit of it. I would say that it’s hold and haunt of me is quite equivalent to that of Requiem for a Dream.

Other than my treasured lonely nights in my dark room watching quality art, I do have an outside sunlight life; thank goodness. It's just us with new toys, new topics, new interests, in new places, but still old friends.

To share

2011-01-13T01:24:00.003+08:00

Architecture has always awed me, design has always excited me, but in these houses, it’s the tenants’ collections and creations that they have so cleverly decorated their homes with, that really gets me hooked. I’ve been visiting this site for quite a while admiring the homes of the creative but this, this is my favourite of all time. All time.

Pamela Love and Jordan Sullivan's home.

(Also, google Pam Love and check out the jewellery she's made.)

Also, just for inspiration, I’d like to show you the kinds of things people think up and DO. I think having the initiative and capability to either produce the idea or make it happen are equally respectable and admirable. So to people who perform, just because the idea isn’t yours it doesn’t mean that you’re any less needed. I hope all of you are treated deservingly in the work you do. This woman, is, legendary.

Here you go!

Don’t forget to feed your pets.

A great despair over the colours in the air

2011-01-11T04:09:00.002+08:00

The most beautiful sunsets with more reds and yellows happen when the air has small particles of dust or water. Cities with high pollution have great sunsets cuz more light bounces around. So here my conscience is tested: to sacrifice a healthy environment or an intensely beautiful palette of colours in the sky?

Maybe the first, so I don't die from looking at the sky. But maaan, why does science have to crush dreams.

Join the triumph of the skies

2011-01-08T18:15:00.005+08:00

Christmas last year (2010) was pretty different from the years before. For one, the gang didn’t have our traditional lunch and gift unwrapping at Chilis due to everyone’s (everyone else’s) crappy schedules so they joined me at my family celebration. As always, gift giving and receiving was really just so nice. I’m sure there will come a day when our Christmas celebrations would be obliged to other people in our lives but till then, you and I can enjoy the pretty people below!

The kiddies at my dad's.

And the kiddies at my mum's.

And now, I leave you with a pretty funny video about the story of Christmas that my priest showed us in church.

And it finds me

2011-01-02T15:05:00.006+08:00

Like a game of Minesweeper, a dream can detonate right before your eyes if you make a wrong choice, if you select the square too close to the one that has already been revealed to you. You may receive hints, but taking a risk either leads you to a great discovery or a simple GAME OVER. No turn of a game over is better or worse than the other; it’s just an end. But each win has a high score- each success has a rank that can always be defeated. So, what makes us keep on trying?

Here’s another thought: why is it acceptable to expose man’s chest but not woman’s breasts? To some, looking at a man’s chest can be just as stimulating as a woman’s. When did the inappropriateness of a woman’s bare torso begin and why why why?

Also, why are men generally funnier than women? My theory is that men are more confident therefore do not overthink their reactions making them sometimes goofy, more sporting, and playful with words. Did this start when men dominated stage performances so it has been passed down for generations that a man is more comfortable being an entertainer? Then what made women the insecure lot?

Sometimes, questions just pop into my head and swim in there for a long time before my brain gives up. Sometimes, it is because those questions have no black or white answer. Sometimes, it’s because the internet- source of all my information, gives me answers like these haha.

You brought the rain's romantic pour

2011-01-01T17:23:00.006+08:00

One of the few exceptions to Nutmal's usually intelligent speech.

Me: What should I wear?

Nutmal: Wear something leopardy. Cuz you’re a tiiiger!

And here's a line from one of our favourite TV shows, Family Guy.

Peter: Lois, you're overreacting and you can't spell overreacting without ovary.

Thank you, poor men who deal with our kind.

A beautiful mess

2011-01-01T16:59:00.003+08:00

Happy New Year, everybody!

In the mood of nostalgia, I went through old photos and blogposts. All I feel now is gratitude that I have grown up and out of so many things that were. I feel less obligated to my blog now but after 4 years of blogging, I say, I’ll keep this shit as long as people still read it. It’s not so much of an out with the old and in with the new for me; but more of an appreciation of the progression from old to new.

My new year’s celebration certainly is a story but I won’t write about it. No no. Important part about it is that most of the important people in my life shared the occasion with me. The day was a mess, indeed. But a beautiful one.

We're not as cool as we dress. This is one of our many attempts at nice photo with the camera on timer.

Don't forget to look forward.

Whatever you want it to be

2010-12-28T19:10:00.003+08:00

I’d catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)

Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)

I’d jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah , yeah)

You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah) Oh, oh

I would go through all this pain, Take a bullet straight through my brain,

Yes, I would die for ya baby ; But you won't do the same

Of course these lyrics are nothing compared to the meaningless, STUPID, derogatory hip hop ones there have been in this millennium but Bruno Mars seems to have taken this chick too seriously. He’s so intense. Some girls must really dig that. But I’d like to shed some light on the matter. Don’t believe what you listen to on the radio. He says: I’d (short for I would-keyword WOULD) catch a grenade for ya- and reality would continue the sentence with- if I wasn’t too stunned by the whole situation making me stare at the grenade in slow motion move towards your face. And an apology and girlish weeping follows.

Now to quality media. I've finally watched Requiem for a Dream and it was one of the scariest films I’ve ever watched. I wanted to avoid scenes that I knew were a reflection of real addicts’ stories but the movement of the film just held my attention. When the credits came up, they had let go of my eyes but not my mind; throughout the film were repetitive and dark swarming images that stand to taunt and haunt even after. I would recommend this to anyone prepared for intensity and for mind play.

(Blank)

2010-12-28T18:44:00.005+08:00

Guess who’s back!

Well my sister has been back a few weeks now but since when have my blog posts been punctual.

I woke up way too early for my current body clock but hurrah gifts came as soon as we got home.

(Sorry I don’t quite have adequate hands)

Chocolate K for the Mat Mental and J for me. H&M polka dot dress as a belated birthday present. Very pretty Vogue organiser. A packet of Stroopwafel. And plenty of other goodies for the other family members.

~~~

I spent an entire day last week helping the kiddos out with Christmas gift tags. It’s pretty fun doing cards, bracelets, and kiddy crafts with them. They’re a humorous bunch and I think there’s a little kindergarten teacher in me.

Arran is smiling like a monkey cuz he just licked glue and got scolding from me.

I'm so easy to please

2010-12-20T00:43:00.002+08:00

I love the smell of lavender. I love leaving my art equipment on the floor looking like my life’s dependent on it that I couldn’t clear it up. I love getting notifications that my movies have completed their download. I love seeing deserving people get what they worked for. I love dim rooms. I love being left notes of nonsense and notes of love. I love being thanked more than being praised. I love being smothered, cornered, swallowed by big fluffy blankets or pillows. I love crow feet at the corners of smiling eyes. I love jokes about how some guys can’t grow beards. I love shading and seeing it totally transform the look of an outline. I love Gerard Butler in Ps. I Love You (though the movie RUINED the story). I love cute, childish and ugly pyjamas. I love certain ugly things. I love feeling the waves pull back. I love sunsets.

And that’s Paddlepop in the sky.

I love the things in life that are waiting to be found and the things in life that have let me find them.

Impressionism

2010-12-13T02:12:00.004+08:00

To record and convey experience by capturing a system of fleeting impressions of reality or of mood.

The world is just filled with beauty.

I want to bounce on bushes and inhale the clouds.

"Sometimes awful things have their own kind of beauty"

2010-12-06T00:18:00.002+08:00

I just watched Copy Shop, a short film about a lonely and routine-living copy shop clerk who somehow manages to make copies of himself many times over the same day. As more duplicates of him are made, other people in his street are replaced by the copies of him.

I just love the concept and meaning behind this film: The only other human being in his life, a woman who works at a flower store, eventually becomes another copy of himself. He becomes further disconnected from the social reality. A falling out with society, means falling inward, and for him, a total loss of identity.

Thanks to Copy Shop and its Kafka-esque experience, I now plan on reading Metamorphosis.

Today, has been nothing but consequential. I typed the above in the afternoon and now at 11.03PM I have just finished watching A Single Man and in it, a scene of the protagonist, George reading Metamorphosis with feet cuddled to his partner’s. I would recommend A Single Man to anyone who truly appreciates art and is patient enough with it (cuz this film moves slowly). It is one of the most beautiful films I’ve watched and it stands to prove that content and style would be lost without the other. The music, cast, script, art and set direction were perfect. There were scenes depicting natural humour and perhaps some excitement but the overall mood of the film was saturated with melancholy and love from death and homosexuality. Such bold topics but presented in a way so soft that you could allow it to surround you and hypnotise you; almost like the scenes of George in the nude, swirling underwater. Also, knowing that the director, Tom Ford has been with his partner for 20 over years and that their story was incorporated in the film makes the experience more whimsical. PERFECT. How could one properly describe that?

Are we wasting time or is it wasting us?

2010-11-30T01:21:00.001+08:00

Are we wasting time or is it wasting us?

Somebody spoke and I went into a dream

2010-11-29T00:00:00.005+08:00

I’ve been very in touch with my arts side this holiday. Today, the few of us watched 1Sex 1Money 1Scandal and it was really good mix of Politics and Comedy. I know. Haha.

The Bee is a really pleasant cafe opposite the theatre that serve pancakes which I intend on trying the next time I’m there and hungry.

Also, I’m already on 4 books at a time now. I really hate doing this but my impatience wins every time in every situation. Currently reading:

Dial M for Merde (nothing I would really recommend nor dissuade from reading)

50 Dresses that Changed the World (which is basically a literary documentary so it’s super light reading but I love it cuz I get to fall asleep fantasizing about tailored dresses just for me once I start working)

Tales of Long Ago (which is an Enid Blyton book I’ve loved since childhood. It has very pretty illustrations along with the famous ancient Greek stories and the Arabian Nights stories)

Lolita (a book I’ve hardly started but I’m sure would end with me giving thorough opinions of it)

FILMS! Oh yes. It’s been a while since I’ve given my personal reviews that I can’t remember which I haven’t yet done.

Inception. My favourite cinema movie of 2010. I’m sure everyone of our generation has watched this and loved it. Unless you’re stupid.

Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. Absolutely brilliant. I can’t say it was humorous at the right times cuz humour came in at much unexpected times but it was made to fit so well. The acting was stupendous, the editing suited the time frame of the story yet had the fresh and modern twist to it. I’d really have to write an essay if I had to get into detail how I loved this movie.

Fight Club. The storyline was perfect. The acting was perfect. It’s very much a boy’s movie with its brutality but if you’re one for quality entertainment, this one’s for you.

Queen of the Damned. This is really, how cool vampires are. Of course Stuart Townsend made acting look effortless but that only created lopsided greatness. Like how Johnny Depp was so good at playing Captain Jack Sparrow that he made all the Pirates of the Caribbean films look like shit. So, watch Queen of the Damned because it’s imprinted in the bloodstream of Gen Y to be insatiably drawn to vampires.

Get Him to the Greek. So friggin funny I had to hit pause twice to finish laughing.

Plus, I’ve got new artwork done and sold. Prints are available for purchase. All details are HERE. But here's a peek to lure you to my site.

And don’t forget to show your teeth every now and then.

Then when you let it you asked for nothing

2010-11-28T22:48:00.006+08:00

Is the maternal instinct in the female race present from birth where it only becomes stronger as our body tells us we’re reaching ‘ready’? Or is it a common perception of a patriarchal society that uses that idea to form businesses?

During dinner, my 10 year old sister asked me if I wanted to play with the Baby Alive. I had to make her repeat several times cuz I didn’t think I really heard a toy called...Baby Alive. It’s a baby toy that poops, pees, and eats. Apparently it’s a plus point that it doesn’t require baths cuz we know how much kids love being buried in grime. Anyway, as a response to her question I said that I didn’t want to play with it then with a really concerned voice she asked why I wouldn’t when it would help me practise being a mother.

One could argue that most kids aspire to be like their parents but have we yet seen Barbies wearing corporate clothes?

I’m just glad there’s still the kid in my sister. Her greatest magic trick: Looking like Squidward with just a spoon and no hands!

And that's my brother using the neck pillow as a hairband.

To the Japs who take pills to make your poop smell like roses, I... shat a bouquet.

If you want peace, always be prepared for war.

2010-11-20T21:09:00.007+08:00

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this here before though I know I’ve said it many times. I envy people who’ve known what they want since they were kids. Their life had direction beginning from just a glimpse of an image, an unexpected reaction, or any damn sparkle that triggered something in their minds to be absolutely fascinated with that one idea or concept or way of life. I know that these occurrences are rare or possibly take decades to happen. It just sucks to be categorised with the masses. But thank you, God for making me normal in so many other ways.

Haha.

Oh, what a time to come across this precious little boy, Aidan- right after I rant about not having destiny I want, set out for me. The guilt overwhelms me but I won't remove my rant cuz I'd like to use myself as an example of our reality; of how we often complain which isn't always wrong but expressing our appreciation for our circumstances whether in silence or in public should come more often. Aidan is 5 years old and suffering from leukemia. He enjoys drawing and sells those drawings to help pay for his medical bills. I am real soft and cottony on on any normal day and reading about Aidan just made my insides fluff up to an all new level. I know many kids are going through what he is or worse. But to see it clearly in photos of how Aidan is just motivated to draw his monsters just reminds me of how simple children are and that although they often seem whiny and screamish, they really only want the purest and most sincere things in life. I hope he's getting lots of help. For those like me who can't help by buying his drawings, let's share a prayer.

Don’t forget to take a moment to feel blest. Someone somewhere is having diarrhoea pains while at a job interview.

I wanna see you crawl before I walk away

2010-11-20T20:19:00.005+08:00

Wikipedia is one of the best creations of our generation. It’s also nice that it was created ultimately as a source of information sharing and not as an economically driven idea as most are now. If I had a credit card, I certainly would donate some money to the Wikipedia Foundation for I have used it to the extent of abuse. Anyway, what brought me there was the Black Swan which is a new movie starring Natalie Portman that I’m aching to watch. Although I agree that piracy is a sad disease to arts, as a retort to MTV ads against piracy, I say the bigger issue they should be fighting for is the upholding of quality music instead of the obvious child manipulation programs such as...Bieber. I almost feel as though I should censor his name on this post cuz I can feel it cause my post to devalue.

So back to the Black Swan topic, I also discovered that it is also a theory (Black Swan Theory) developed by Nassim Nicholas Taleb explaining (in my own, simple words) the occurrence of high-impact, unpredictable, or rare events. It really interested me because we all indefinitely have experienced a situation such as described and this theory exists as proof that although the significant event is a surprise, after rationalising at hindsight, the event always seems expected. Think: the Global Economic Crisis of 2008- “we should’ve seen it coming” or “we had it coming” were probably common afterthoughts.

There are ten principles that Taleb recommends to avoid such events:

1. What is fragile should break early while it is still small. Nothing should ever become Too Big to Fail. (like the friggin 2008 economic crisis)

2. No socialisation of losses and privatisation of gains.

3. People who were driving a school bus blindfolded (and crashed it) should never be given a new bus.

4. Do not let someone making an "incentive" bonus manage a nuclear plant – or your financial risks.

5. Counter-balance complexity with simplicity.

6. Do not give children sticks of dynamite, even if they come with a warning.

7. Only Ponzi schemes should depend on confidence. Governments should never need to "restore confidence".

8. Do not give an addict more drugs if he has withdrawal pains.

9. Citizens should not depend on financial assets or fallible "expert" advice for their retirement.

10. Make an omelette with the broken eggs.

I find these pretty hilarious and so damn true.

I leave you with some humour after the talk of theories. Aaron has very kindly been my lookbook.nu photographer which I know is tough job to handle cuz I’m a real awkward cookie when it comes to posing alone in photos. I’m guessing his payback (which is a weird payback since he suffered through it too) was making me help him finish 3 jalapenos stuffed with almond cream. They were so delicious but there should’ve been a warning sign next to it on the menu saying “post effects require tongue in washing machine for 10 minutes straight”.

And the best face award goes to...

Don’t forget to sleep tonight.

lelove

2010-11-01T22:56:00.001+08:00

I'm getting wise and I'm feeling so bohemian like you.

2010-10-31T22:58:00.002+08:00

Ahh, life. Questions about life. Answers about life.

Food. Love. GOD.

I think blind faith may keep our minds secure but won’t secure us.

I think relationships should always be evaluated to check for blossoming pride, repetition of small turning significant mistakes, over-comfort.

I think you should never believe in yourself entirely. Sometimes you have to be someone else to know what you’re really doing.

Although my thoughts have been pretty melancholic lately, it does help to breathe leaves and smile at the wind.

Speaking of all this nature, Mat Metal and I took on a similar theme for Halloween. We had a long list of costume choices including Russel Brand-Katy Perry, harlequin dolls, witch doctor-Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas, zombies. But in the end we decided to play our mindsets: Hippy-Bohemian.

Ugh I know that there are a good number of creative people in KL but it seemed Halloween only called slutty slut sluts out on Saturday night at the Changkat Bukit Bintang street party. There were girls who’d be Heffner’s last choices as Playboy bunnies dressed up as...Playboy bunnies. Did nobody tell you that you ugly! I hope you read my blog then. The rest distracted me with their silicone cannons, ultra short dresses cuz they think that their faces are not slutty enough, and people just dressed in normal clothes. I know that we didn’t look scary (in fact, some style spotters took photos of Mat Metal and I) but I did hope to see some really fun KLites who had enough time to figure out costumes.

My psychedelic side kick.

You shimmy shook my bone leaving me stranded all in love on my own

2010-10-31T22:39:00.003+08:00

My regular-late post time!

A few weeks ago, the Provisional Rotaract Club of Danau Desa took part in the activity to collect donations for mangrove trees as well plant them. I was a pretty pathetic inclusion to the trip since my body decided to embarrass me with its pathetic whines due to the sun. I purposely wore shorts and a white shirt but nooo I couldn’t even bloody stand in the shade. So here’s me smiling like a ball but yeah...just don’t even look at me I don’t deserve it.

To redeem myself, I had loads of energy for this!

Meeples is one of the best findings of 2010. It’s a board game cafe with a huge range of super fun games that you have probably never heard of. The people working there are superb as well- very knowledgable of all the games, sporting, fun, and really friendly. I’ve come to terms that in my previous life I was a Datin/Princess due to reasons I’d rather not disclose cuz I think I’ve insulted myself enough this blog post so...I can only tell you that Meeples is near the Taylor’s Subang building, next to Baskin Robins. Datins/Princesses don’t need directional or geographical skills so that’s as much as I’m able to tell you. Err, hee hee?

I’d like to think of heartbreak as an egg.

2010-10-07T23:50:00.003+08:00

Yes, the egg was broken; but really the egg is present and whole. The shells are in the bin.

I’ve been home a little under 2 hours since my long dreaded meeting at uni but I shan’t complain too much. My thanks go out to all the people who voted, and to all who shared the excitement of the process and outcome with me. It has been a delightfully fruitful year since the last big change.

Last week was spent in a total art meltdown. My right brain has been grim as I’ve no time (or no heart) to do the projects that have been presented to me. I am eternally grateful for the response I’m receiving but I do need space- like all relationships would-depending how long or short. I need space from the artwork that has now become just, work. Brandon Boyd came to my rescue last week, reminding me of darkness and beauty that can be thrown onto and admired through canvas. Or in my case, Daley Rowney paper. I sketched my very first abstract idea which I cannot wait to begin on. Unfortunately, I have 5 more WORKS to complete before I can start on that and prior to the 5, I have tonnes of heavy weight uni assignments to complete. Being a girl trying to get back on her high achieving academic feet is hard when she also needs creative escape and extra long cuddles and kisses.

~~~

I’ve always been a fan of gloomy roomy music and gloomy room interior design. But I’ve recently come to find that my days alone are heavy enough. I enjoy after a long day at uni or a long day of studying in my bed, to eat in front of pointless TV and admire the homes in theshelby.com or just go through keikolynn.blogspot.com and thefellow.com. Am I overusing this precious head of mine so much that suddenly no-brainer entertainment delight me at the end of the/my day? My personality needs to be retained! I need a vacation. So soon? Yes. And my days will continue with a palm on my forehead till you whisk me away like Prince Charming but not like the one from Shrek as hilarious as he may be.

Ok lah I'm back

2010-10-05T02:22:00.006+08:00

Wait, I’m actually bored and ugly due to a swollen eye (my boyfriend abuses me) (for dumbos, please sense the joke right about, now), and this is me catching a break from hours of nerding which has become alien to me since I’ve spent this year telling people and comforting myself that I’m a burnout and not an idiot. Funny how assignments seem harder once you give a shit about them.

You know what, too many things have happened since my absence from blogspot and like my attitude towards academics, I shan’t pay too much heed to details and full updates, just the ones that stand out in my mind.

Unfortunately, this one’s a rant.

I tell you, my camera is the most useless moment capturing device of the century. I have two photos of my birthday with the mat metal till it died on me like it always does. TWO. Well, okay he took about 5 photos of me but only 1 remained in the camera cuz I’d rather have those other kinds of hideous memories erased. And our photos together are damn pathetic cuz we’re not really in them together cuz we think we’re too cool to pose together and snap those camwhore type photos where the poor someone has to stretch his/her hand with the camera to take the photo.

You see how fate treats me. It makes my camera take these kinds of photos for me then dies. Some more the resident camera provider (Bee) didn't bring hers to my celebration with the gang so on that side, I only have handphone quality material of memory.

Don’t even get my started on the earlier part of my birthday. Basically was me driving a lot, getting lost a lot, being stuck in a jam a lot, walking a lot only to find that the salon was ‘closed’ only to find that the stupid receptionist doesn’t understand that moving the salon to the ground floor for extra cheap styling for charity is not bloody ‘closed’, driving in the rain and crying a lot cuz I couldn’t see and was scared I’d die a lot.

~~~

Alright, this is quite injustice to the boyfriend cuz he really did make the day a whole lot better. I got amazing gifts from him that I honestly did want to tear at but I refused to allow another book especially in the following year to be the gift that manage tears out of my eyes.

And so, truthfully the ended well. Ended well with us heading home at about 11pm cuz we were tired. I'm far too young to be this old.

Not the grandest return to the world of blogging but I try.

Hiatus Round 200

2010-08-12T19:01:00.002+08:00

OK so I’ve been too busy with life to update my blog. I think all long-term anythings will experience a dry spell at least once in its duration, right? This is the time for it. Again.

At this moment I have the time to be updating because I’m stuck in uni until my transport home arrives which won’t be for another hour. Sure, I can be studying. I do have materials with me. But I’m in a bit too much of an emotional mess to do anything remotely effortful.

I just completed my Ms. Monash interview process. First was the profile photo session then full body one, followed by an audition with a panel of judges. I have no idea how fake comfortable I looked, but everyone else was hilarious. Girls can be such incredible posers with the whole twist of the body to show slimmer figure and smaller waistline (GOD. Half of you are half of an average sized broomstick anyway!) And the degree to which some girls tilt their heads so that their eyes look up in the scariest hugest way ever simply dumbfounds me.

Knowing me, I’d probably rush to delete everything I just said once I see my actual shots. I shan’t describe the interview process cuz I’m enough of a disgrace, thank you. I am NOT a pageant type girl. I do not like being judged based on looks and 5 minutes of ‘conversation’. I’d model for you for a good art project, for a good purpose, as a favour to a friend. But no, I’m not shameless enough to strut my stuff and act likeable or cute or pretty to be popular in a material world. I would never sign up for something like this on my own time but having been nominated by an anonymous villain, I would rarely say no. I think that should go out to any of you who have opportunities to experience something totally different from what you normally do just for the sake of ‘adventure’. I’m sure it’ll serve as good means of conversation when necessary. ;)

To save you guys the trouble of visiting my blog for updates anytime soon, don’t. I’m currently working on another blog aimed at promoting a local band. In time to come, it will be used to bring up the local music scene as a whole. Here’s to hoping! Cheers.

Ps. I know most of you suckers only come to my blog to view photos of my good looking friends but yeah, I’m too lazy so unless you’re my friend, you won’t be able to view my Facebook photos either. Sorry you’d be out of eye candy for about a month or two. I feel bad for you guys.

Tease:

Bury Me in Smoke

Photographed using a Canon DSLR

Edited using Adobe Photoshop

Idea by Kamal Benjamin

2010

Check out more artwork, share images you like, and buy them if you will, here.

So you think you're so big...

2010-07-22T17:17:00.007+08:00

So busy, so so busy! I’m shifting my lifestyle a bit from the first half of the year.

I am switching on my nerd gear for this semester cuz after receiving the poorest results I’ve ever had, I know I am not made for 3rd class.

I’m also quitting my art job to focus more on ELLEphant. Thank you to everyone who has helped bring the name up cuz I’m constantly surprised and touched by the recognition it’s getting now. I haven’t the imagination to reach the status of Andy Warhol; I just want ELLEphant to be a household name and furniture. In the mean time, bear with all the inconsistencies in style. I’m growing to find myself and my place on paper.

To stay somewhat on topic, I visited the Kuala Gandah Elephant Orphanage Sanctuary a few weeks ago. I was in exhaustion most of the time but still had a lot of fun. I would recommend animal lovers/anyone who isn’t afraid of giants to visit.

And then we got to ride the elephants. My camera ran out of battery (and it took me time to remember that I brought extra) before I could snap photos of them on them.

A classic story of forbidden love. In an elephant sanctuary. Coming soon to screens near you.

There’s also a river a 10 minute drive away where Dashel nicely skinny dipped in. In the most fateful circumstance I was closest to the camera so was given the task of snapping the photo and could have sworn to see a shadow of obscenity.

After that, we got to 'bathe' with the elephants. I probably stepped out of that river dirtier than I would be without a shower in 5 years. The elephants' poop and piss in that river and yeah just as we were getting dunked, I nicely opened my mouth for a scream like the girl I can be- a little too late. The river tasted nice. Very nice.

Sometimes, the bigger ones have more space for a bigger heart.

I'm so happy cuz today I found my friends. They're in my head.

2010-07-07T17:00:00.010+08:00

Operation (Almost) Sleepover II.
Yes yes, blame me. Wei Wen, Zanardy and I had Operation Sleepover last year at the Blue Boys’ Pad and it was a blast. Of course the last 2 hours of the day was spent watching PPFG with Z while WW lay fast asleep when all day he chanted “no sleep tonight!”

This year was a little different. I couldn’t sleep over this time plus I was exhausted from working (at Souled Out for the World Cup Season) and going out every day. Yes, I have well used up my holiday period. So we fulfilled my lifelong dream of being a rockstar, ate till I had an awful tummy ache the next morning, and well this time I took over WW’s place as the Snoozator.

Photos!

Z dancing to rock songs with a light saber. We are way too cool.

My first song on Guitar Hero was Lithium by Nirvana and I got booed so bad that they didn’t let me complete my song. It was pretty hilarious how bad I was. But I did do pretty good on my 2nd try onwards. I swear.

Forgive them please. They’ve never seen a hot chick lie in bed in real life before.

Earlier, we had dinner at Paddington House of Pancakes cuz we’re a sucker for tradition. Of course us 3 can only talk about shit together but WW really took it to the next level.
WW: How did George Washington discover gravity?
Hahahaha!
He was asking this random silly thing that was supposed to go like...
Q: How did Isaac Newton discover gravity?
A: An apple fell on his head.
Q: How did Thomas Edison invent the lightbulb?
A: (whatever Z answered, I don't remember)
Q: How was milking a cow discovered?
And then we’re expected to laugh. But yeah, George Washington. Incredible man.

The end.
Note to Z: I hope you enjoy that ancient copy of the Batman comic and have loads of fun with the pale faces. I wish I could send you off at the airport but yeah I’d rather have geeky photos taken of me with smexy prostitutes at Amsterdam. You’ve been great fun to be around and an awesome friend to me other than being an inspiration to everyone about individuality. Do advertise ELLEphant to the Aussies. ;)
The end II.

Save your face. You've only got one.

2010-07-06T18:19:00.005+08:00

Now’s the time for another Jun-Elle Want Haves.
1. Military jacket. Preferably in dark blue/black/grey. I first fell in love with this design end of last year after seeing a gorgeous vest with military buttons that my sister somehow talked me out of buying. The rage.
2. Chunky wedge boots. Definitely want them in black, reaching slightly below the ankle, with no heel- just the whole wedges brick look. Oh, when the line between fashion and construction are blurred.
3. A tight black dress with long sleeves. As always, I like my short dresses short and long dresses long.
I tell all ye this in hopes that someone would find a shop that sells any of those items at reasonable prices. Or you could always just buy them for me as gifts. Thank you. I love you in advance.

So, last Friday night was spent at Barsonic for Ollie’s birthday. As predicted, Bee and I couldn’t get in cuz we’re underage. I felt like one of those lame kids who try to get in a club when they require a couple more birthdays to fit the criterion so clearly stated on the board right outside the line. For about 2 weeks the few of us promoted Mist as a good alternative with their Ladies’ Night offers etc but nooo, let’s just bribe and get humiliated just for 2 hours worth of ‘fun’. Haha I’m such a whiner. Hello, welcome to my blog. No photos taken but that poses as no worry for me because I’ll never forget the night considering my feet got a fair share of Ollie’s diet.

Here’s a more decent imagery.
Us at the baby shower of Deron Teoh, son of the best teacher I know of, Teacher Derrick. His wife looks totally unchanged from pre-baby times but she was photographer of the day so no photos to make you feel like crap about being young and still fat. Mark my words; I’m going to be one of those enviable mothers.

For me, I'm your sorrow; calling in your dreams.

2010-07-05T19:09:00.007+08:00

For me, I'm your shadow
Howling in the streets

I realise how awful this lady looks but I felt a weird inspiration when listening to the song Sweep by Blue Foundation. I would really like if you could describe what you feel when looking at this art piece.

I'm Your Sorrow (click here for ELLEphant's page)

Every line I drew was a decision.
Of about a million sources offering me another million choices, I chose that direction.
At every direction I looked was a decision.
Of about a million things to look at, I chose to see that part.
Every feeling felt was a decision.
Of about a million suggested emotions, I chose to acknowledge that one relative feeling.
Every feeling from every sight is every line I drew.

Give me fuel, give me fire, give me that which I desire.

2010-06-29T16:37:00.009+08:00

The only things in need of mention on the 20th of June other than it being a very pleasant Father’s Day:
1. Thank you so much Michelle and Wei Wen for accompanying me to The Curve. Thank you Wei Wen for parking the car. Thank you Michelle for running with me Bollywood style in The Curve.
2. Hitzkolpf played so well, they got to play an extra song.
3. Kamal looked very hot onstage.
Haha.
Check out the videos of their performance at Fête de la Musique 2010, here.

My apartment is going to have one of these boxes just for me to sit on. I know this sounds totally disgusting to you musicians but really, you should feel honoured that I’d want to do so. Just saying.

More band photos. Excite yourselves. This is your chance.

...I exited the toilet, and saw this. Ah, life.The Groupies.

Philip in Wonderland.

This won't get any easier now that your heart is beating in my hand.

2010-06-25T19:34:00.007+08:00

After high school I was pretty convinced that I looked/am a little too old to be hit on by guys. I am now further assured thanks to circumstances I’ve been in, in these 2 weeks. I’m no longer part of the cast to be hit on by guys; but I do seem to attract men more than twice my age now.

Incident 1:
I was alone in my car, stuck in a traffic jam when I noticed this Malay man in his mid 40s turning to his right to look at me several times. I ignored him like I usually do when I seemingly attract the eye of creepazoids. Everyone in those small lanes spent about 15 minutes there which left Malay creepazoid ample time to creep me out. Not before long, I noticed that the more we inched towards the end of the lane, the more he inched closer to my car. Then, he wound down his window, waved hysterically to catch my attention, gave me the most grotesque expression of old man lust and ushered for me to go over to his car. HELL YEAH DUDE, raise your eyebrows and smile like a Looney Tune and you’ll SO DEFINITELY get the young lady to simply park her car on the main road and hop into yours all flattered and willing.

Incident 2:
I’m currently working part-time at Souled Out as a beverage runner and once while leaning to the table to place a drink, I accidently brushed my leg against the thigh of a middle-aged looking man. I apologised for it and felt so stupid for being so impolite. Next thing I know, a waitress tells me that that particular customer was specifically asking for me. I go over to his table and this is what happened:
Man: I want your tiger.
Me: One order of Tiger?
Man: No, YOUR tiger. Only your tiger.
Me: I’m sorry, a Tiger beer?
Man: *touches his torso* Your tiger.
Me: *I look at my torso and see a Tiger beer logo sign on my uniform. A little suspicious of what he was saying, I replied in a rather flustered manner while walking away from the table* I can order a beer for you from the bar.
Man: No, never mind. It’s okay.
Me: Freak.
-Okay, everything happened minus the last bit.

Incident 3:
I was walking in Mid Valley with Bee and Esther when this older man (yet again, yippee doo) walked by me and whispered “hiiii” in my ear with that deep can die way. I was so shocked I turned to look at him and saw him somewhere behind me still looking with that same repulsive smile the Malay man from Incident 1 gave.

My level of self esteem has seriously depreciated in the last few days. Tell me, how fugly and old do I really look to you? According to the documentary I watched, The Science of Sex Appeal, people generally go after those that are of similar levels of attraction as they think they are. I should really just start keeping 10 cats, 3 birds and look for a shoe the size of a house.

Living nightmares aside, the few of us gave Peanut a month early birthday dinner.

It was a pretty sweet and decent outing till...

Haha. Because little-miss-not-her-birthday-yet wanted to cause drama with somebody.

Below are us if we ever starred in a The Simpsons episode. Wernie’s photography skills are revolutionary.

Don’t forget to pick your nose when you’re feeling far too sexy and good looking.
It’s my new defence mechanism against creeps.

If you can hold on, hold on.

2010-06-15T17:45:00.007+08:00

(from etc)

Johnny Depp is definitely my favourite actor and he just seems like such a great person- in all aspects he is associated with. I am so in love with these photos especially the one in the middle. Don't they just bring out the maternal/fatherly side in you?

I actually noticed that besides smile wrinkles on guys, I'm really a sucker for them when they're holding someone with eyes closed. It shows a lot of depth in his feelings and the relationship between him and the one he's holding.

Announcements:

I’ve finally had good Bak Kut Teh since last year. (At Seapark, Paramount. Acknowledge your gluttonous side)
I gained 1kg this month. I’m just going to go ahead and say its muscle mass.
There’s a special place in my ass for drivers who don’t show signals on the road.
I almost killed Kamal and Keith while driving (pretend you didn’t read this, mum) so really, I shouldn’t be commenting on other people’s driving. Well technically signalling is a driving habit. I for one simply missed the sight of the traffic light. I think this attitude stems from my stand against conformity and allowing a colourful light to be the boss of me...ha.ha.
Anwar’s back! JAE HANN to dominate the world! I miss my friends.
I have 6 fingers.
That was a lie. Everything’s a lie. You are living in a dimension inside a setup world. They laughed at us for creating The Truman Show. They are laughing at me typing this. Once they're tired of our nonchalance, they'll give us utimate realisation and make us dance like they were shooting our feet. Who laced my drink?!

It doesn’t help that there’s a hole in the sky. How far away is the end?

You can hate me, after you pay me. My submission is your addiction.

2010-06-11T00:34:00.007+08:00

Greetings from little words on your screen.

I went through a horrifying experience this morning which stand as testimony for the need to continue my nerddictions. I’ve never feared the possibility of failure till today. The Psychology exam was a huge foul word. My 2 recent assignment results are also big bad words. They weren't bad marks but I certainly expected better.

I almost weeped in Caryn’s car from the weight of a grand piano that was dropped on me today but with the comfort she offered, only goes to show how damn well she upholds her title as Mummy Khoo. After that, I weak dunkling-ly headed to the house of a handsome someone to collect myself and promise to be more productive in life. This is my second week of working out since the year 2007 by the way. So there’s a step forward. A pat on the back would be lovely.

~~~

I know I said that I wouldn’t accept any offers to do artwork till I’ve completed the few of my personal art projects but this next one is from my dad so choice is an unknown word this time. At least productivity on the ELLEphant Art part is served. Once I find another job, I am planning on quitting my current one as a kids’ art teacher at ACTs due to the inconsistency in the number of students. Any ideas on good work experiences, anyone? I would love something that involves art as well. For now, Thursday and Saturday nights will be of Kamal and I working at Souled Out as waiters/waitresses. Come one, come all to say hi.

Anyway here are photos of the guys and I having an amazing dinner. We spent about an hour looking for that particular restaurant. I think Phil received enough blame for the getting lost bit haha so I shall defend him on internet photos being deceptive. After all that searching, whining, growling, and feasting, I don’t remember the name of the restaurant. The youth of today: hopeless.

I can tell you that the steamboat buffet was only RM23 for obviously a whole steamboat dinner (seafood dishes available!) along with herbal drinks, ice-cream, and fruits. Also, it’s next to Belly Good in that row of shoplots opposite Leisure Commerce Square. Once again, hopeless. Not that I'm sorry. Less you, more food for me.

Don't forget to floss.

You burn my star down, twice as brightly.

2010-06-02T21:43:00.006+08:00

I’m starting to think that my heart tricks my brain into forgetting all these random photos I take so that one day, I will suddenly remember and just dump all of ‘em here on my blog and feel so delighted about it. I love it when you find things you forgot you even had and how they never make sense being put in the same folder.

I helped my friends out with their fashion spread in Monga (Monash Gazette) and had to sport ridiculously colourful outfits. I think colour looks best as a complimentary accessory on an overall dull coloured ensemble. Black and grey are my favourite ‘colours’ for clothing and just adding a coloured scarf/blouse/shorts with it (but NEVER all at the same time) is perfect. So, there’s no doubt that wearing all those frilly skirts in every single Smarties colour was very painful for me.

Did I mention being introduced to a quaint little shop called Kaki Lelong in Amcorp Mall that sells the most random and old and awesome stuff ever? Kamal and I spent close to an hour there behaving like kids who received a golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. I bought myself 2 Beatles postcards which are currently a part of my wall, and the September 1992 comic issue of my favourite childhood heroes, X-Men. Yippee me!

Erm, this is just a photo of one of my students defiling plants outside class. What a weirdo. (The cleaner threw away the twigs my students had saved in order to do our Sakura origami project so kind little Nuha went out to cut twigs from the school’s plants)
It’s such a shame that I always forget to take photos of their work. They are vastly improving and the recent artwork they’ve done is really quite impressive. My memory sucks bulls balls man.

These are photos to illustrate Kamal’s bright idea to DIY his beard, blue. -which turned purple. -which stained his chin and refused to come off. -which was really quite shitty situation to be in because he had a play to attend a few hours after that. -which he went to without a worry thanks to the vigorous scrubbing with tonnes of shampoo.
Moral of the story: posing as a Jew with a cling-wrap beard leaves you with dye on your chin and not on your beard. (Okay, I wrapped his beard because I read that that's what you do to avoid the chemicals from floating in the air or some science fizzy shit like that)

Hi, mum.

Under a sheet of rain in my heart; Daniel, I dream to come home.

2010-05-31T23:14:00.001+08:00

In an ultimate New York feel right now. I am sitting in a cafe, sipping on overpriced coffee while it rains greyness outside; with the sounds of pitter patter on the glass wall where I lean against, I listen to Oren Lavie, The Burned, and Iron & Wine. I'm simply short of having my drawing block with me to continue my current project intending to be sold.

I am at peace simply believing that where I want to be is where I am at right now.
Because my mind tells my mind so.

These past two days hit me with giant bolts of guilt but I'm not giving up on anything because I want it that badly. In a month and a few days' time, I'll be off galivanting the streets of Rotterdam, The Netherlands. I will finally see my sister again, her boyfriend, and meet the cat they're babysitting, Pim. Who doesn't want to explore the world? -I only wish Nutmal would hurry up and make the teleport machine (because my motion sickness is so unbearable) as well as the mind reading device I have been asking for for sooo long.

ps. I got a High Distinction for my second American Music & Popular Culture assignment, BEECHES. A 27/30. Finally not a mark below a HD but one way past the line. In commemoration of this blessed day, my next next artwork would be of The Beatles. So, dear fans of theirs and ELLEphant, please be eagerly awaiting. And save up on that cash!

It's getting harder to be someone but it all works out.

2010-05-24T13:05:00.003+08:00

I’ve finally watched Les Choristes!

It was everything I expected it to be- touching, adorable, inspiring. Everything a Hallmark movie aims to be; only better. It has the typical plot of a the teacher changing the lives of rebellious, lost hopes; only better. I just want to say: merci, Jean-Baptiste Maunier for doing your character so well. I absolutely love that sullen look trying to mask (but instead revealing more obviously) a sensitive and loyal soul.

~~~

Unlike my previous post, I have lost that relief. In 2 days, I have to hand in a literature review of 2500 words. Mind you, this is for Psychology. I’ve always loved the idea of it; the science of the mind. I am interested in everything abstract about the world. But no, not Psychology here in Monash. It can stick a carrot up its.

Swing swing, maybe the momentum will bring me so high that when gravity pulls me back, all I have left is

all I wanted to keep.

Swing swing, maybe the momentum will bring me so high that I could just have that glimpse of you

to take back with me to land.

To find yourself, you can't change.

2010-05-20T14:19:00.006+08:00

I am at such relief. I’ve passed up 2 out of 3 of my major assignments, done intensive shopping therapy, and have gotten through the horrors of sending one of my best friends off at the airport. I am the worst at goodbyes. The less distortion you see on my face, the more it is felt inside. I suck. Bulls. Balls. I will have a special update showcasing some aweful&awesome photos of my friends and I back in the day. Haha. Be sure to look forward to that.

My days lately have just been so frustrating yet interesting. Almost like a dream, some things go so slow and seem to repeat themselves but sometimes, it’s just so quick I don’t know how I got here; I got here so fast without warning that I couldn’t bring anything I used to have with me. But when has the world ever waited for anyone, anyway?
Here's something I read and found quite funny:

"During the 17th century, a radical new set of ideas began to emerge: based on the outrageous concept that every person in society should be treated equally." (Carpignano et al., 1993:97)

I could never know what the blind man sees.

2010-05-20T13:02:00.005+08:00

Sometime last week, the guys, Karven and I went to Kuala Selangor to see fireflies. Sad to say that pop culture demands us to think of Owl City every time someone mentions ‘fireflies’. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get any photos of us in the boat as romantic as it was- minus the distraction of trying to balance between butt cheeks on the boat (I have intense intense motion sickness and balance issues) and trying to catch a decent breath of fresh air (the life jackets was previously worn by a fat man who enjoyed spending his time in a sty. Well, that’s just a guess), watching Christmas light-like bugs in the trees was such a calming and pleasant experience.

These are by far the best photos of all of us.

Up until we waited almost 2 hours for our dinner. You may wonder why we actually stayed that long amongst the hundreds of mosquitoes in that area but mind you, we had been driving around that area for hours. Malaysians would empathise with our experiences with the sign boards here, so thank you.

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.

2010-05-13T22:40:00.001+08:00

Isn’t it amazing how the simplest and sometimes oddest things can make us so much happier than alcohol, money, or even a good plate of lasagne can?

Today (Saturday), my simple and odd thing is the mess of paint all over my body. I just finished this:

Firstly, painting is definitely not something I’m entirely comfortable with. Heck, I can’t even mix colours right. If you follow my blog religiously, may I remind you of my failed Taylor Swift painting where I gave her lobster coloured skin and a moustache...

Secondly, I struggle with non humanlike figures.

But after a good 5 hours of completing that piece, I was congratulated by random colourful paint stains all the way from my shoulders to the tip of my toe nail; product of confusion and amateurism. About the stain at my belly area, I don’t know how it got there. I’m thinking, probably when I had a little Santa moment where I just rub and scratch my belly for comfort.

Don’t forget to find to creepily smile to yourself when you see that simple, odd thing that makes you...smile creepily to yourself.

ps. Happy-Belated-Birthday-Wish-on-blog Nick Brick! I could write a whole book about you but for some reason I don't know where to begin with my little birthday wish here. Maybe I'll start with how you showed your first signs of humour, nonsensicality, and perhaps compassion haha at the age of 8- sticking pencils up your nose to make me feel better. As an 'old friend', I'd like to say that I'm very proud of how you've grown up so far- you really stick to your values and character. I won't go all emotional now so have fun, bye!

Elephant in the room.

2010-05-11T23:15:00.002+08:00

I watched this movie during my Film Studies class the other day and I must say, this was an experience. I'd definitely recommend this to people who have an artistic twist to them/anyone who isn't confined to Hollywood blockbusters. When I first saw the poster I was really excited to watch it cuz I thought it was a lesbian movie (from far the blondie looked like a female) only to be laughed at by my friends who had already watched it and said that it was loosely based on the Columbine massacre. The whole purpose of the movie was that there is no purpose, no meaning, no alternative to this story; hence, leaving a lot of questions hanging but unlike most stories where evident holes would annoy us, this movie moves along like a dream. You know how some of our dreams are of us as the third person, observing the people around us whom we understand but don't actually recognise? Then sometimes everything moves so slowly and we notice random things that never really makes any sense but still awes you. Gus Van Sant created this effect by making most of the scenes live long and continuous single shots which made everything look so real and raw. I love that especially in movies.

Random conversation between my little brother and I.
Me: Do you want a sweet?
Arran: Who bought for you?
Me: Che che. So do you want it?
Arran: Yah.
Me: Are you a good boy?
Arran: Yes. *big big smiley*
Me: How good? Very good or very very good?
Arran: Very very good.
Me: Do you cry a lot?
Arran: Err... (soft utterance of a “yah”)
Me: So how is that a very very good boy?
Arran: Okay lah.
Me: You want me to give you a sweet cuz you’re an okay lah boy??
Arran: (still with the big big smile) Yah.

I would eat him if it wasn’t illegal. Yeah, the only thing stopping me is the law.

Funny conversation between Kamal and I while at a boutique.
Kamal: *shows me white shirt*This looks nice.
Me: I think that’s for guys.
Kamal: But the label says F.
Me: Are you thinking that F stands for female?
Kamal: Oh.
HAHA! For all you other shopping noobs, F stands for Free size.

Now I will get back to my assignment. I am flooded with them. 30% one due Wednesday, one worth 50% due Friday, and another 30% due this coming Monday. I am abused.

A cello lying in its case

2010-05-07T22:55:00.001+08:00

It’s a little less real whenever we don’t mention it. And boy do we want this to just be a wacky stupid dream. But it is true; Karven my pineapplebutt shitkarven friend whom I’ve known for 16 years is going to NZ for uni. We had a 2-night sleepover at Aaron’s apartment which is currently vacant. Karven could only stay a night but we had loads of fun anyway.

No, no, no, I will not get emotional just yet. But I must say all the photos of JAKE (Jun-Elle, Alveena, Karven, Esther) are just perfect captures of great memories. It’ll be an odd and painful change when only 3 occupy a photo. It’s great how we’re so comfortable with each other to totally be ourselves and mess around and tease.

Erm, well over here Karven and I were opening Beena’s blouse. I don’t remember why. There could have probably been no particular reason to begin with.

An international student in my uni posed like this for a photo in an article about her in Monga (Monash Gazette). This pose & expression is now called the Friona Loo. God forbid she ever reads this.

And this, my friends, is how we ended our Friday. 9pm-4am of mah-jong. Well spent hours if you asked me.

Good morning, Mont Kiara. Here’s to beginning a new day with a beloved.
I’m honestly surprised I actually had the patience to smile for this photo. Our only breaks were to the toilet and for meals. But of course! It’s not like we’re addicted or anything. We still satisfy our necessities...

Then guess who came along to brighten our day. I’m pretty sure he’s secretly jealous of my relationship with mah-jong. Haha.
I personally adore this photo of us. I don’t know why. But I do know that I hadn’t had decent sleep in days and hadn’t taken a shower in x number of hours.

Then it was dinner at Paddington’s in the Curve. Everyone (else) thought it was vital that we did something outdoors.

The pleasure, excitement, comfort, and peace you recognise couldn’t feel more emphasised than with the ones you love.

Now let’s party in the Asian region.

An update.

2010-05-04T21:33:00.002+08:00

BREAKING NEWS: My iPod works again! It went on some crazy cuckoo nutcase state. But I guess we all have ‘em ay? So, here are some useful tips from a very tech savvy person- in ways such that she has ultimate experiences with spoilt, cranky, faulty tech stuff and I understand them. They do have feelings you know? Proof:
1. They always complot to piss me off.
2. They need time off duty by saying they have ‘low battery’. Wth is their deal.
3. They work slowest when you’re around other people to get them bored so that you look like a louse.
4. They have extra sensitive spots.
5. They totally screw with you pretending that they’re spoilt so you’ll send them for a RM300 repair when actually you just have to show that you’re boss by checking up on them a while later.

Trust me on this and you won’t regret. Understand your tech stuff, TODAY!

She removes from her hair, monsters made out of air.

2010-05-04T16:21:00.001+08:00

Bee had a BBQ party at her house last weekend just for family, the gang, and her Uni friends. It was really good seeing everyone again. I had spent that week and the one before utterly miserable remembering how I used to spend a healthy number of hours with my different groups of friends before a member of these groups left one by one and the meet-ups after just always never happened. I do feel a distance from so many things I used to be but I’m learning to live with myself. I suppose.

So... THE BBQ DINNER PARTY.

After dinner the lot of us played charades. A must-play game at parties I tell ya. And of course, a team consisting of Bee and I could never lose.

When everyone left, I spent quite a bit of time playing pool actually. I know; this surprises me too. The 350 rounds I played did make me slightly less crappy at the game so with that, I am quite proud of myself. Now do you understand why I only started when more than half the attendees left?

This was basically a meaningless update of what’s been happening in my life.
I hope you had fun.

Who's to know my world?

2010-04-28T22:42:00.003+08:00

Sadness was so close to me that I may be missing it. Yeah I know; I’m sick. (I am actually. Got me some nice sore throat and cough virus) It was a lot easier to disregard unimportant things when I was sad. But of course it was also easier to let important and good things slip by. Maybe I like having an excuse to decide to not do something. Well, you know what they say; misery loves company. However this time, I’m not in misery. I think now, it needs my company.

Who's to give everything just to serve what they believe in?

Paupières baissées, visage gris. Surgissent les fantômes de notre lit.

2010-04-27T17:10:00.005+08:00

I just found these photos taken in Taylor’s when I visited my college mates about a month back or so. I definitely miss our crazies.

The real uni experience is getting to me. I got a distinction (was hoping for a high distinction) for my Amelie film review and just a pass for my Media Studies essay (which I did deserve so...whatever) and the work just keeps coming but I still don’t feel like I’m capable of doing any of it. Researching, writing skills and lots of reading (Lord, help me) is a must. I know it must sound really cheeky of me to be majoring in writing when I don’t like reading and researching but I have a feeling it might just be the subjects I have to do that bothers me. If I had to do an article on fashion for example, I’d be most delighted to do my research. Or, this could just be me finding things to blame for my lack of interest and effort.

By the way, have you ever heard of the term, ‘dead weight’? My mum asked me this a long time ago but I never got to ‘researching’ it till today. Based on the answer from a Licensed Funeral Director and Embalmer on answers.yahoo, once dead, the person doesn’t actually weigh more than he did when alive. I was too lazy to look for more websites to compare but this other one I found on WikiAnswers has got to be my favourite.

Why is it that dead people seem heavier to lift?
It is because dead people eat far too much cake.

Haha priceless! If there are any lecturers amongst my readers, I advise you to save that webpage and show your students when they whine about Wikipedia not being allowed as a citation source.

As a matter of fact, in class yesterday someone insulted some dead guy and someone else said "eh, respect the dead". And it got me thinking... Why are dead people respected more than when they were alive? Why do people become more soft about people after they're dead. Suddenly, you can find good things to say about them. And suddenly, all is forgiven. I hardly think that this has anything to do with a fear of ghosts ahaunting. So what is it all about?

Why fight to be first? I'd rather be the last.

2010-04-23T14:50:00.005+08:00

If I could only see you for one day, I wouldn't want to see you today, on my birthday, or on my loneliest day. I'd want to see you on my dying day.

Can you imagine how amazing it would be to look forward to something so special your entire life?

Because the anticipation is the beauty of it; it never finishes, it never ends, the excitement is there, and the happiness of seeing you is final. There's nothing more after that.

Solar system inside your eyes.

2010-04-23T12:09:00.007+08:00

So, Karven, Ollie, Nutmal, and I went on a spontaneous trip to Janda Baik. We were supposed to trek up to the waterfall but due to the extra mass at our ass we decided to just chill out by the river and surprise surprise, shisha. Benefits of keeping the shisha set in your car boot.

We set up the pipe and everything only to realise that there were no fire starters left so I don’t know who’s bright idea it was to start our own fire but, we did. Benefits of being a scout in high school during the peak of its activeness.

Enjoy the glories of sight.

I swear, I didn't force him to hug me.

Ollie scratching Karven's back and feeling shy about it.

Next trip: Kuala Selangor. I can’t wait to the see the fireflies there. I hope there’s enough to make me jizz.

That’s all.

How many times can you say, you can't believe what you heard?

2010-04-21T23:23:00.007+08:00

During one of my Media Studies tutorials, we had to read a short part of the book, Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh then design the shots for film as a group. After that, we were shown that particular scene of the movie to compare our make of the scene and the made version. It was super fun mainly because the book and movie is just so raw like how the dialogues in the book were written and spelt following the Scottish slang and accent. Here’s a paragraph I found pretty damn interesting:
(As a brief introduction to save you from extra confusion with the slang, this part of the story is basically about Renton (a drug addict who lives off giro) attending a job interview that was organised by the giro company. He obviously wants to keep living off the ‘free money’ he gets as an unemployed citizen but has to show that he is making an effort to get a job so he has to fluke the interview but pretend that he’s really interested in getting it. Before the interview begins, Renton waits outside the room and observes the people around him. The writer exposes Renton’s thoughts in this paragraph.) *I advise you to read this in the Scottish accent to help with understanding.
“The trainee manager whae welcomed us wis a mucho spotty punter in a sharp suit, wi dandruff oan the shoodirs like piles ay fuckin cocaine. Ah felt like takin a rolled up fiver tae the cunt’s tin flute. His biscuit-ersed face and his plukes completely ruin the image the smarmy wee shite’s tryin tae achieve. Even in ma worse junk periods ah’ve nivir had a complexion like that, the poor wee bastard. This cunt is obviously along for the ride. The main man is the fat, stroppy-lookin gadge in the middle; tae his right thirs a coldly smiling dyke in a woman’s business suit wi a thick foundation mask, who looks catalogue hideous.”

There you have it! And I personally like the adjective- catalogue hideous.

When doing that small task at the tutorial, I suddenly remembered watching Billy Elliot and how I had to use subtitles in order to follow the movie. Their accents were so strong and slang is so different from mine. Then of course, my thoughts drifted off and I wondered how it would be like to subtitle their slang and accent altered English with our Manglish (Malaysian English).
Scottish script:
“Well, everybody likes tae huv a good time, a bit ay enjiymint, ken? That’s leisure tae me man, likesay. Ah like tae see punters enjoy themselves, ken?”

Manglish subtitles:
We all like to syiok, kan? Lidat relek mah. I like to see the customer enjoy orh.

Here are some photos of Jit's birthday celebration (sorry this is way overdue without a proper blogger birthday wish). We had dinner at TGIF which is a useless restaurant if you ask me. Then we headed to No Black Tie for the live jazz performance by whatstheirname. They were good . I just must apologise for my memory's misbehaviour at the moment.

I hope this doesn't become boring because I know I always describe you as THE nicest person I know; but you are. You have the most wonderful, kind, and pure heart I would probably ever have the honour of knowing. I’m sorry if I don’t show it much or don’t tell you enough that you’re such a special little man. I guess it’s nicer to save it for these moments right? And I’d probably weep like a kid whose foot got rolled over by a truck if I had to describe you in person (like in the prefect’s room at our final AGM remember?) I’m really glad to have you as a friend- a friend that I can put in my list of ‘true and forever’ and know that you’ll always be happy to pay for my stuff when I’m broke and give me death rides on your sister’s manual car. Happy Belated Birthday Jitty Poo!

Do you know who I am? Well neither do I.

2010-04-17T20:13:00.007+08:00

My days have currently been all about uni, the boyfriend, the friends, and mother (pause)-ing assignments. There has only been one that I enjoyed doing which was the Amelie movie review but am yet to receive my marks for. If I did well then I’ll be sure to put the essay here to show off. I mean...to guide the rest of you helpless people.

Since we’re sort of on the movie topic, I’d like to share my personal opinion of the movies I have recently watched.

Okay, I watched this earlier this year but I think it’s about time I told the world how AMAZING this movie is. The title itself is a total catch isn’t it; only a total bore/boar wouldn’t find dreams and sleep so complicatedly interesting. And this movie really brings you to those elements of reality. But probably not the reality we know of though. After all, reality is just an impression of ‘the Real’. The characters had exaggerated personalities but never annoyingly too over the top. The Science of Sleep would certainly make you feel sucked in to its planet of subtle humour, childishness, and a bucket full of creativity. Also, I’m really into movies with stop animation and ultimate quirkiness hence the obsession with French films. I’m sorry if my descriptions still make you feel blur about the movie. You’ll understand why it’s so hard for me to just pin-point an obvious characteristic of the movie once you’ve watched it. It’s definitely one of my favourites of all time.

Day Breakers to me would be described with two words: HA HA.
Kamal Nut Metal thought the story was good. He liked the politics and theories behind the main plot but I was just so distracted by the random inclusions of gore at the most inappropriate scenes, to even remember that the story had a high level of supposed seriousness to it. There were a few other people in the cinema who laughed at those scenes as well so I could give the creators of this movie the benefit of the doubt that perhaps those ridiculous scenes were intentional but hey, I won’t spoil the movie for you. If you’re kepo enough to know what I’m talking about, catch the movie. Be ready to be engrossed in the story only to be shot at your face with the creators’ mockery of your attention in the form of...(not going to spoil the story).

Most of everyone I know who watched it was disappointed because they expected more out of Tim Burton. I know a few of his work and yes, he has always put in elements of fantasy, fairy tale, and sometimes goth but was always loyal to being different and awkward in a room filled with Hollywood blockbusters. Alice in Wonderland was a wonderful watch; but as a note to strict fans of Burton’s old works, you must remember to watch it as movie and not, Tim Burton’s movie. I believe it’s a more universally friendly film and we shouldn’t criticise the film for that. This make of Alice in Wonderland did not take away the magic of the story, merely expressed the humour and craziness in a more obvious and clean fashion.

Then, we have Beetlejuice. I found the movie hilarious and a good kind of weird. I would absolutely love to have a day exploring the mind of Tim Burton. I liked how the characters and story moved along pretty fast although each scene and location hardly changed. And boy was I impressed by Michael Keaton in this movie- from the stiff Batman, to a Krusty the Clown sort of character. It’s a classic; I need not say more except that I want to get hold of the animation!

Here are some photos of my uni friends and I having brunch at Bon Bon’s. I simply adore that little cafe. It gives off a really motherly and cosy feel. The off and on whiffs of fresh cakes and sweeties made my time there so much more pleasant.

And now, I’ll leave you with a dialogue from 30 Rock. (I forgot the characters’ names so I’ll just identify them by who I remember them to be)
Tina Fey: Is that a guy carrying a gun?
The woman who played Princess Leia in Star Wars: Don’t worry, he’s not a cop.

Bonsoir!

I only want to be your one life stand.

2010-04-17T13:35:00.004+08:00

Warning: This is going to be a random blogpost.

Please expect more irregular blog updates. My blog pattern: absent for a long time, but always back with big red bag full of posts. Merry Christmas, everybody!

As a welcome back to nobullpoop gift to myself, I'm going to let all you suckers see what you've been consuming, most likely on a weekly basis. (This bit is especially dedicated to Caryn Khoo) Bon apetit!

Just to add on to the randomness, here's a photo of me driving. Something you'd rarely see so I guess you should feel honoured.

Since we're on the driving topic, here's a conversation Kamal and I had one night.

This was blinking on the metre board in my car. Nutmal said something about it and I have no idea how our conversation came about but this is as far as it got:
Nutmal: It’s a female. I mean look at the hands. What kind of male does that with his hands.
Me: It’s male. No female sits with their knees out like that, crotch exposed.
Nutmal: (continues whining about how tired he is) Males don’t put their hands like that.
Me: Come on, it’s bald. Why would they have a bald figure to represent a female.
Nutmal: How could you... She’s going through chemotherapy.

Don’t forget to crazy.

So where were the spiders, while the fly tried to break our balls

2010-04-07T22:19:00.011+08:00

Last week, I met up with my college mates. I missed them like crazy. One time I saw Peanut at Sunway Pyramid and I literally squealed and ran to her. My body seems to really really not give a shit about my ego. Anyway, it was just a really great catching up session. Lots of drama, ab crunching (from the laughs), and nonsense. I particularly liked the part of the night at Boston (haha) and the part where Mark kept walking away from me with his palm to his cheek going "where's your hair?!". Speaking of hair, because of his broccoli shaped hair of black locks, I nicknamed him -Blackalockabroccoli (must only be said with groove).

When would people have to get over making silly faces?

Here's a question that's been going through my head all day: How would one tell the difference between paranoia and instinct? You know how sometimes certain instances trigger worries in our head leading to exaggerated predictions of what would happen after, then (hopefully) we'd try to find the solution? Sometimes we can be right about it and work towards deterring our worry from becoming reality, hence saving ourselves from a lot of trouble. We have instinct and our guardian angels to thank. On the other hand, we sometimes go overboard with these worries, turning them into paranoias. At what level should it be to be considered 'overboard'? Also, I know that trauma motivates us to be more suspicious about anything that remotely relates to that bad experience- the bad experience that made us go "I should have followed my instincts". So, let me know what you think.

And now, I leave you with the newest edition to my art for sale.Look How They Shine For You (Click on title for the Facebook page)

Don't forget to count the stars.

There is no running that can hide you. 'Cause I can see in the dark.

2010-04-06T20:00:00.007+08:00

I am now sitting alone in an empty and very dimly lit cafe. It’s dark outside and just began to drizzle. All I can hear is the little muffle coming from the small TV next to me. I suppose this sentence should continue with how depressed I feel and that the world is just a giant gloomsville but I’m actually feeling frickin good. I do agree that at times, you’re your best companion but I would not be caught dead watching a movie in the cinema or going on a vacation alone. I understand why people would do that but I could never go forth with it. I just do not like feeling lonely. Maybe someone should psychoanalyse me and dig up some memory of my childhood that led to this current mentality.

Last month, I went for the Placebo concert and it was really, really good. I pity you suckers who didn’t make it. I not only enjoyed myself loads but have finished the first quarter of my concert review assignment by going for that. Be very jealous.

I’m actually pretty damn lucky to have gotten these shots (with special thanks to Karven for taking that awesome photo of Stefan Olsdal) amidst the major pushing and shoving. Of course, there will be one chick who insists on ruining a fraction of my night by being a retard. And this Siti Nur Annoying kept pushing me for no damn reason. I wasn’t even blocking her. I was bloody next to her and she was right in the middle with no one pushing her at the time. She must’ve had some crazy bug up her ass.

I absolutely love the lead singer, Brian. He has this weird dark beauty to him. Towards the end of the concert, the background screen had photos of him with a woman's wig and makeup and somehow, that seemed fit so well with the whole mood.

Spot yourself.

Despite my ribs making contact with each other several times that night, someone resting his armpit on my arm, someone’s sweaty hair bouncing in front of my face, and my involuntary shifts across the moshpit, I had lots of F-U-N. Haha.

Someone call the ambulance...

The look on your face was priceless.

2010-04-02T17:48:00.007+08:00

Interesting thing my friend, Icky brought up. Secrets never last. So could you even call them secrets? Somehow everything-the truth- comes out in the end (which I really believe in that’s why I totally disagree with ‘ignorance is bliss’) and it got me thinking; somebody somewhere knows a little detail about us that maybe others know or don’t. Sometimes, we tell friends secrets about ourselves and then lose contact/stop hanging out with the person but he still knows that thing about you.

We leave a little trace of ourselves in somebody.

Icky, Shamine and I went to Sunway Pyramid the other day to walk about.

Yeah, yeah, my eyes look like dashes next to hers.

We had a little snack at Ireland’s Potato and I made a comment at how odd the tagline sounded:

I asked why they had to just put “2. Potato” instead of “potatoes”? Icky being the joker that he is said “oh yeah cuz they like have a National Potato” and Shamine actually went “really??” One of the best laughs I had with Uni friends that didn’t involve sex, porn, periods, and awful hand gestures. And who do we have to thank for all the explicit jokes and comments? None other than Farmer Khoo/Mami Khoo/Caryn.

And if you notice the symbols that are going around my Facebook friends and I that look like \ . / or \,/ or \w/ or \_/ they’re actually symbol representations of doing the judo chop with both your hands at your groin. Get what I mean? And no, you’re not allowed to do that without saying “suck this”.

You're exception to the room, you're a bonafide rarity, you're all I ever wanted...

2010-04-02T15:50:00.008+08:00

So, I am very very late. I could use the defence that I am pretty busy nowadays but it also had a lot to do with laziness. I know you know that that isn’t a surprise.

20th of March is a wonderful date. It’s my sister’s birthday (which I couldn’t celebrate with her because she’s in the Netherlands wearing really nice clothes and layering them with stylish jackets; oh the jealousy), it’s Mark’s birthday (which I didn’t celebrate because I totally forgot about it and called him a week later to apologise and wish a belated happy birthday), it’s also Chester Bennington’s birthday (which I can’t celebrate with him ever, because he doesn’t know me), and is Kamal’s birthday- the only one I managed to celebrate.

We had lunch at Chatterbohks and I embarrassingly only brought enough money for my meal but you know what... I will survive.

The night before, we had a really nice Arab dinner at Sahara Tent with a group of friends. Not many photos were taken though. No really, I think we ARE growing up.

Then, we headed off to DV for shisha, drinks, and card games. We played the drinking game Ring of Fire/Devil’s Deck whatever else people call it and Esther got so crazy after that but I suppose I shouldn’t give too much detail of the night on my blog haha.

And this is Keith very high. Started with laughter, drama, then tears.

It was just a really enjoyable night and everyone had fun, right? You, love, deserve the best birthdays no matter how unimportant you think they are.

Happy Belated Birthday on my Blog, Mumsy!

2010-03-17T16:59:00.005+08:00

To an amazing human being, sporting such characteristics:
1. Sophistication
2. Open minded
3. Forgiving
4. Generous
5. Loving
6. Empathetic
7. Intelligent

We celebrated my mum’s birthday at Dish and I must add that she was very interested in the Caucasian waiter who seemed to have a thing against my sister. She was the only one he didn’t smile at; he wiped up the breadcrumbs from our table and so obviously dusted the towel above my sister’s drink leaving friendly little brown crumbs floating around in it; and served her spoilt cake-which he probably picked up from the bin. Haha. Good times.

Don’t forget the birthday presents you have to buy this month.

The city sunset over me.

2010-03-17T15:43:00.008+08:00

Right now, life is going really well for me. Uni is still a bit of a bore cuz its tough and a total blur, and I’ve never felt happier being on my own there; but you can’t really be alone. Everyone’s up for making friends and I know that I should have that strong foundation with the people I study with. Sometimes I just feel as though I don’t need to be a part of this world. This world isn’t even our world.

Anyway, as you can now tell, my brain doesn’t really look like a clump of udon; I think it looks like mashed potatoes.

Here are just photos of my friends and I at Palate Palette. It was one of the worst mashed potato brain days of mine.

(Below taken from Bee’s blog cuz I don’t think I’d be able to finish typing out what happened without weeping in between so copying and pasting seemed like a valid alternative)

Elle ordered pasta primavera (sauce with tomatoes) but what she wanted was creamy sauce.
When her food arrived, even BEFORE the waitress had set her plate down, Elle yelled (I’m not exaggerating this time)
"I DONT WANT THIS! What is thissss?"
The waitress was super shocked. Can’t blame her, so were all of us.
The woman has lost it.

Then when she wanted to ask for a refill for myself and her, she said
"Can I have more water first?"
*pause*
*looked at me with a mortified face*
"I mean PLEASE"

(Oh it doesn’t end here)

On the way there, she wanted to tell me something and kept going

"Short short short short short short short short short *x tenbillion* short cut"

We had drinks at Twenty One after, joined by Kamal. I absolutely (hate) dislike that place. I tried the food there a few months ago and it is the size of my toe and tastes like my foot. And they’re charging people loads for a foot calling it “food”. So manipulative they are. The drink I had last Saturday there was THE worst I’ve ever had. I asked the waitress for something sour and she suggested some strawberry cocktail so I agreed to it. I swear it was pure sugar and ass essence.

Don’t forget to brush your teeth.